|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 7, 2015 11:19:59 GMT -5
Act 3: Eldritch Ignition Haymakers An eye flickers to life...A creature lifts itself from the dunes...An ancient being awakens in desolation...A Heavenbranded entity begins to tread the path of desolation.: ... : ... : ...Input name. => Zoosmell Pooplord <Do you think it's John Eggbert?! You are now Zoosmell Pooplord. As in, you, the reader, are now the person named Zoosmell Pooplord. You own a bitchin' meatcar! It runs on meat.> Input name...? => <Huh...? Okay, fine. I give it a name.> You are now Baldemar Axemond. You are a HEAVENBRANDIC ENTITY, otherwise known as the HEAVENBRANDED. You have a single eye at the front of your body and three eyes in a line up your back. You own a single Lightsaber, which has run out of power. You clutch the Shrapnel of Hope tightly, which is amazing as you have no arms, hands, toes, knees or mouth to do so with. (Your two legs are also insufficent for clutching things with.) This artifact is the last thing you have that could actually be used as a weapon. You seem to be in a trackless expanse of desert sands. You have no clue as to how you actually got here in the first place. You are horribly horribly lo-- *beep beep* Baldemar Axemond: B'DUH!
A while later... Baldemar Axemond is found in 2422 Post-Eggbert LOWAS by the Doctor and returned to the present.
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 11, 2015 8:19:45 GMT -5
Fill the reader in on what happened during the Weekend Whip:
Every player has now entered their 20th game. Well, Halley catches Ran being up to no good (taking phot--I mean notes of Cirno's skoodlypooping) and diverts Aya's gossip efforts by telling her that it's entirely Ran's fault. Aya and Yukari fall for this. Yukari decided to abuse Sakuya Izayoi's timestopping knife-throwing powers as suitable punishment for Ran... And Marisa, after actually returning the books she just stole to Patchy, rescues Sakuya with Patchy's help... Which gaps a gap into itself... Ending universe A... So they abscond with Alice and Reimu on Marisa's broom... But then the ending of universe A bumps into the empty space left by the Submachine... And the whole thing gets fixed (in part due to the Forerunner God of Pain waking up for a bit, in part because Black Hat Guy imported Python, in part because Karkat imported Sgrub,) leaving Ran dead in the server. Having died, Ran is forcefully sent out of her chair as through the card Shikigami 「Ran Yakumo」, complete with the danmaku. Karkat is dubbed Chief Exile Officer, and exiles Yukari for the game. He then goes bowling with the Midnight Crew and a few random Carapacians and ends up seeing Spades Slick accidentally kissing a Prospitan, causing him to blow them all up. Boom. So there you have it. Reimu, Meling, Sakuya, N, Baldemar Axemond and Sora all join the game as players. Karkat is an offical moderator. Black Hat Guy is now a part of the development team, because NOBODY HACKS INTO Jinx's or Xion's data encryption channels.
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 13, 2015 10:14:46 GMT -5
End of Act Three: Reimu starts blowing up servers. It ends in an odd freestyle slam poetry battle between her and Dirk, leading to her passing out, and then starting to combustion-bend out of pure rage alone after Ran nailed her with a knife. 117, Hussie and Muffins flee to Prospit, where Okuu has used Trickster Mode to abscond the fuck out of doge. 117 follows her to the core, which is then blown up by Reimu. So 117 and Okuu enter God Tier, Jack English shows up and is beaten to death, and the act ends on a happy note: Reimu's not raging anymore in the Medium, so the servers are safe.
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 13, 2015 10:53:58 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 15, 2015 10:05:45 GMT -5
Cirno, Jo, Armin, Leon, Reimu, Yukari Hakurei, John, Jade, Iblis, Bec Noir, Casey and Riku cannot use their class powers anymore. Leon and Jo are also now God Tier. Baldemar Axemond, despite fighting in both battles, is entirely uneffected. Rumia and Mystia are now dreadfully sick. Cirno is melting.
Chen is married to the mysterious stranger that looks a bit like Bec Noir, but with other touches...
An echo ironically echoes from the last post... ?͇͉̲̖̳̤͉̥̼̯̮̹ͤ͑͆̄͂̈̔́̓͑̉̍̾͑̉ͫ̕͢ͅ?̷̭̯̩̙͖̯̖͙͚̣͎ͥ͛̆̎̍̅̒͗̍?̡̝͍̭̣̤͖̟̯̯̓̅ͧ̾̂͑ͮͦ͌ͨͯ̈́̑̈́̚͞͠͝:̸̷̧̧͖͚̻̹͚̺̲͕͙͈̦̮̹̆ͦ̓̽̐ͣͥ̎͋̑ͦ͊͋͋ͬ͝ ̢̛̬͚͈̙̳̦̦̣̼̺̝͖̩̰̑̍͒̆̎ͨͩ͗ͩ̀̉̃̀̚̕͝M̷͉̜̻̤͚͙̩͖ͨ͂̽̅̽ͭͪ̌͊ͥ͐͋̄͂́r̔̉̃̐̉ͫ͢͏̗͎̘̥̮̬̫̭͎̫̫͎̗̗͘ͅş̷̵̳̳͍̥͖̟̳͊ͯ͛ͪ͋ͧ͋̿̈͋̎͛̕.̴ͣ̇ͮ̐̑̄̌̐̉̐͠҉̪͍̱̮̬̯͔͖͉̻͘ͅ ̧̛̬̬̫̣̫̬̭̜̳͉͈̟̻͕̳ͩ̓̋̈̉ͬ̄̍̓̈́ͦͥ̍̅͘X̨͙̣̘͚̬̠̘̭̝̼̓̔̈́̈͗̽̀͂'̥̻̩̗̼̆̏͋ͬͫ̈́͋͠ͅa̸͋͊̎̓̌ͦ͌͋ͮ̋͒ͧ̂̓́͏̫͙͔l̶̸̗̥̮̝̪̱͙̝͇̻̯̝̩̮̦͙̀̀͂ͧ͆ͪ͊ͦ̐ͣ̾̌̅ͮ̄̃̏͑ų̴̡̹͇͈̫̞̤͎̻̞͚̠̜̣͛̈͆͗̋͆͛̆ͯ́͝j̷̗̬̬͕̤͖̞̦̗̱̉͐̂̔̀͢á̧͉͕̙̖̺̣͇͚̹̟͕̥̜̏̃͗͋̈ͦͣ̎̋̄̐͘͠ņ͙̬̣͇̫͙̤͍̻̠̹̫̩͓͕͑̓̅ͬͭ͑ͬ͑̃ͦͣͪͣ̒̒ͭ͒̋̓͞͞.͖͔̳͔̫̰̣̙̗̻͙̻̭͌̒̆́̒̉ͣ̉ͤ̊ͣ̽́̀͡͝ You wonder what that means.
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 16, 2015 15:39:37 GMT -5
Recap on medical shindigs: John Eggbert: missing heart Jade Harley: missing heart Riku Hakurei: missing heart Yukari Hakurei: missing heart Casey: missing heart Bec Noir: missing heart Iblis: missing heart Cirno Crocker: stable, missing 90% of all body mass Ran Yakumo: missing part of heart Leon Crocker: unable to use aspect powers Jo: Lethargic, able to use racial powers but not class Rumia: Mystia: Lung cancer Armin Latian: Full recovery (yay) Erin: There's going to be a lot of work here. FLAN! I'm going to need you as an aide...
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 16, 2015 16:05:54 GMT -5
Intermission 2: Lotus Land Story: War of the Shattered Sky Unknown to all, a meteor streaks overhead. Not unlike the one that brought Toa Tahu to Gensokyo.
But most of all... This meteor did not carry a machine... It carried a dragon.
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 19, 2015 10:12:18 GMT -5
Recap: UFOs hunt Fairies hunt FOES hunt Ignitions hunt Covenant hunt Dargons hunt UFOs. UFOs hunt Dargons hunt Covenant hunt Ignitions hunt FOEs hunt Fairies hunt UFOs. Any questions?
Also, D has joined the party.
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 20, 2015 8:30:30 GMT -5
Marisa: Screw this! Leon: THAT'S MY HEART Chen:N͔͇̰̞͓̲͈͓͚̞̥̘̱̥̣͂̍̈̂̓̾͗͐̍ͥ̐́͂̃̓̏̓̀̄͢͡͡Ơ̸̷̗̰͚̹̬͈̠̾͛̏̔͞ ̶̵̛̗͍̤͔̺̺͂ͨͫ̌̀̆̒͆ͧ̈́̒͢T̶̯̲̠͖̫͔̗̩͔̼̼̣̭͌̉̃͊̾ͤ̄̓̄̀͢͞͡H̝̼̲̹͈̜̭̜̝̞́̒ͨ͗͐̌́̾ͩͬ̄̅ͪ̾͆̆̅̚̕͡A̴͉̲̘̻̾͂̌͋̈́ͬ͝T̷̷̥͔̪͈̯͖̩̤̲̜̬̫͌ͧ͆̆͂̇͑͂̌̚͜͝͡'̢̲̮̣͇̖͙͔̲̯̫͗ͥ̔͐̽Ş̙̯̳͚͚̜̩̤̞͍̫̋ͮ̍ͭ̏͘ ̸̧̨̖̲̘̜̬͓̖̘̯̬͔̻͕͖̖̥͎̯ͧ̋ͤͥ̆̀̓̚͞ͅM̡̛͎̼̗̤̠̱̤͇̪͎͚̼̳̃ͮ̏̌ͩͧͭͭ́̊̓̍̄͆̌̔̚I̸̸̸̝̼͓̰̰͇̗̞̭͙ͤ͐ͫ̋ͧ̈̓ͭ͐͐̽ͤ̏̔̃̆͗͘͘N̮̫̖͓̪̈͊ͦ̒ͮ̎͂͑̒̏͢͟E̵̢͖̳̼̳̖̟͖͖̙͔̬ͥ̏ͪ̊͗̉ͭ̓̎͜ Dirk...?: Let's decide who is Dirk Strider... and who is Dick Strider. "Other" Dirk: Let's decide who is Dirk Strider... and who is Dick Strider. D: DIE YOU DAMMED DARGON Nue: You're IN THE WAY, Dragon! Dargon: ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!! Meimu (Kon Yakumo): Sorry, Mom. Sorry Reimu, but I need that Miracle Mallet. John-117: It's the least of our worries. LIMIT BREAK: HALO Halley Starstorm: THEY JUST STARTED USING CLASS AND ASPECT POWERS! Marisa: Screw you, screw your giblets, screw your groin, and screw the ass you rode in on. Final Smash: Overdrive: COMB RAVE: LIMIT BREAK: LAST WORD: HAX SIGN 「Marisa Kirisame's Non-Directional Phantom Hammer」
...
...
...
Gensokyo was utterly destroyed. Chen has suffered a permanent 15% loss to her total HP that she cannot ever restore. End of Act 4. D and Sukia have joined the party. Save Game [y/n]
==> y
Game saved.
Post people update [y/n]
==> y
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 21, 2015 13:43:19 GMT -5
Begin new game ==> After a dream sequence that involves Armin and Yukari, a new server is star---*bztztzt* HOLD UP A MOMENT Nefer007: Black Hat Guy, don't hack the narrative prompt you classhole. BHG: You forgot to open Act 5 Act 1! Nefer007: Oh. Right. Act 5 Act 1: The Door to Nowhere Begin new SBURB game ==> After Armin rescues Yukari's heart from the Green Sun, the two share a dream: a dream of the future (circa. their wedding.) Yukari Hakurei'll be asleep for a whole week. Anywaaaaaaaaayy... tT has entered the Land of Flight and Night!hF has entered the Land of Fans and Music! hF has rescued a lost world! rC has entered the Land of Black and White! tM has entered the Land of Scarlet Mist and Mansions! tM has rescue--- missingno.err.pid=read:"Klatta vu?" EMIT/CONTINENT tM has entered the Land of Clocks and Open Plains!pM has entered the Frogs of Pyxis and Government Offices! dP has entered the Land of Extremely Overpowered Monsters and Power! lD has entered the Land of Spelunking and Midnight!hR has entered the Land of Someone's Handicrafts I Took! hR has fallen into the Land of Little Cubes and Tea! hR has rescued a lost world!eI has entered the Land of Lifeforce and Souls! aA has entered the Land of Wrath and Angels! aA has rescued a lost world!cG has entered the Frogs of Rivers and Songs! fP has entered the Land of Dragons and Fire! An existing world is stabilized! dW has entered the Land of Metal and Strife! gN has entered the Land of Canyons and Bluffs!mY has entered the Land of Fungi and Caverns! dM has entered the Land of Crystals and Stories! An existing world is stabilized! fG has entered the Land of Ice and Snowstorms! nM has entered the Land of Lotus and Stories! An existing world is stabilized! hT has entered the Land of Destiny and Islands! An existing world is stabilized!mC has entered the Land of Dust and Badlands! nR has entered the Land of Heat and Furnaces!bC has entered the Land of Cats and Cheese! An existing world is stabilized! mB has entered the Land of Perfectly Flat Rock Quarries and Thought! cL has entered the Land of Streams and Oriental Bridges!mP has entered the Frogs of Colours and Awesomeness! aG has entered the Land of Jungle and Badlands! sG has entered the Land of Freezing Weather and Spires! nI has entered the Frogs of Computers and Programming! lB has entered the Land of Moonlight and Rampages!kH has entered the Land of Slimes and Bushes!eW has entered the Land of Wishing and Devastation! eW has rescued a lost world!Game started on server 1. Players: a whole shitload. Difficulty: Phantasm. Reader: EMIT/CONTINENT? Umm... ==> All of South America will erupt from your ass. The reader is now Zoosmell Pooplord, Lord of Poop.
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 22, 2015 9:02:58 GMT -5
Be... Leon Crocker ==> BGM: Olive Scribe You are now Leon Crocker. Your wife has been moved to the End of the World and is recovering from losing 90% of her body mass. If you remember your chat with Xion on Sylvari reproductive genetics, and your chat with Reimu on the life cycle of faeries, if she was to get pregnant she'd give birth in two years. Yep, you think to yourself, reproduction sure is weird as Makai. Likely more so. You landed in the Land of Little Cubes and Tea, after falling through the Land of Someone's Handicrafts I Took. You wonder why it seemed like it was made of pa... Wait a moment. You just heard someone. =>You there. Sleuth. What? I suppose that's one of those Exiles that Karkat Vantas is in charge of. You take the time to explain your name. => Leon. The "Land of Someone's Handicrafts I Took" was just papercraft stages cut out of a book by a young Cherub. Okaaaaaaaaay... So it WAS paper after all. You realize that you have no Dwelling Spire. Looks like you'll just have to mak... or will you? Look in front of you ==> You do that. You see before you a Dwelling Spire, seemingly abandoned for what looks like an eternity. You also see before you some giant teapots adorned with black cats. You also see before you several stacks of little cubes. Taste cube ==> You uneasily taste one of the cubes. It's just sugar, though: you whip out your Matter Manipulator and start breaking cubes. Might as well gather baking supplies once your wife recovers. Enter the Dwelling Spire ==> BGM: Walls Covered In Blood You do that. Wherever this home came from, it seems to have come from a biotech world. You aren't too sure about it, but you think it might be better called a "hive" than a house. It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. Not like this means anything: you are a God Tier player after all. Unless someone else comes over and you sacrifice yourself to save them from a grue, it'll only be a minor setback.
Be... Laval ==> BGM: Sarabande You are now Laval. You are the Prince of the Lion Tribe of Chima. As such, you are technically classified as a "CHI Lion," but you think that the Minifigure race is much more befitting of you: although you'd much rather be called just "lion." You landed in the Land of Streams and Oriental Bridges. It's extremely tranquil here. You realise you have no Dwelling Spire, so you are going to have to make your own den. Look around ==> You first scribble a small cross into the ground: a perfect plus sign. You then look up at the sky and determine you are facing north. You register this cardinal direction in Google LOSAOB. You then explore westward, and you encounter an underling: a plastic tentacled musical HussieVekk Molten Alcohol Goblinoid Kitten Moon Heart Kanohi Hau Goblinoid Minion and a plastic musical BecDave Entite Lunar Nova JENOVIA Basilisk Raven. STRIFE! ==> BGM: Dissension (Original)
Be... D ==> BGM: Into the Unknown You are now D. You are a Dragon. You are in the Land of Crystals and Stories: this place looks soooo much like your "home" world of Crystalia. You put that in quotes because a) you were not born on that planet and b) you got sent to Gensokyo to fight Dargons. You don't have a base yet. However, it does appear that you know where you are: Small Town, out by Evil Cave. You suppose that there might be even more treasure in the Evil Cave because a) you technically are not in Crystailia and b) nobody's checked there in ages.
Be... N Harmonia ==> BGM: Dragonspiral Tower You are Natural Gropius Harmonia. You are inside Dragonspiral Tower - or at least Dragonspiral Tower as the world generation for the Land of Black and White sees it as.
Be... Derm ==> No BGM You are now Derm. You are in the Land of Cats and Cheese (blessed be the cheesemakers.) You landed in a pile of cats. There is a fortress before you. Or rather, you landed in a pile of cats in a fortress that is seemingly attached to the sky ceiling itself.
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 22, 2015 12:36:18 GMT -5
Be... The Doctor ==>
You are now the Doctor. The only water in the forest is the river. However, there is no forest. Thus outside of the forest, we call them "ponds." But all of this is entirely off-topic. You are in the Land of Metal and Strife. You see before you three Cybermen fighting a Dalek and a Weeping Angel.
Be... the author. ==>
You are now Nefer007. You have turned into Dr. Referral. React to schoolwide vandalism scandal => You flip your shit and do an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle. CHAIRBEND! => "REFERRAL! REFERRAL!" you scream. Swivel chairs fly at the guilty party. However, in your haste, you forget to update SBURB.org and decide to cut a post... waaaaiiiiiiiit a moment... ...you can't be me! REFERRAL!
Be... Wriggle Nightbug ==>
You are now Wriggle Nightbug, daughter of Nefer007, the Lord of Bugs. He hasn't called in a while... Check SBURB.org => You do that. You discover that Nefer is currently tearing into idiotic underclassmen at school. You cackle like a maniac as the criminals are turned into ludicrous gibs by telekinetically-flung swivel chairs.
Be... Cirno Crocker ==>
You cannot be Cirno because Cirno is too busy being dead... You are now Cirno BB. You have just killed a not-innocent-at-all PC Overlord. What will you do? Annoy Mima, Tokiko, Kogasatori, Momiji and Sanae => You attempt to get your teammates to rebel against the Goliath Doll Pokémon Trainer. It fails. You are now Cirno Crocker.
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 25, 2015 15:17:37 GMT -5
Be... Baldemar Axemond ==> BGM: Journey to the East You are now Baldemar Axemond. From what you can tell, you are up on some mountains. You are very, very high up on these mountains. Look around => You do so. It fails to occur to you that you somehow got unbound from the server, and are now playing single-player. You see a good spot to set up camp, and place the needed items there. You then look around harder through your Vision Trifold Adapter. North of you lies a great big mountain: and you mean big. Below you can be seen an armory, a food shop, a medicine shop, and a cooking pot. You are inside some kind of temple. What gods did these people worship? To the east you see a great big airship standing before a large mountain range. You can make out a little bit of desert at a bearing of about 1 degree east of south. South of your location is a great many open plains and fields... and more freaking mountains. Encircled within some mountains is a city that seems like it'd take a good month's trek to reach by foot. At the south pole of the world you spy... another mountain. Sephrian you hate mountains now. You hate them just as much as you hate carp, gunpowder, latex, fruit, snakes and turtles. South of you is a gigantic archipelago. And you mean GIGANTIC, LUDICROUS, RIDICULOUS, ENORMOUS, EXPANSIVE archipelago. You zoom in on those islands... One of them has a sizeable volcano and a whole truckload of moai heads. Another seems ready to split apart into thousands of tiny little islands. A third seems to have a vault. It's going to be a long day... Say XYZZY => You try your best to pronounce that word in the first place. You manage to get it, thankfully. A hollow voice says "Fool..."
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 26, 2015 9:53:21 GMT -5
Have everyone else complete their game ==> The others finish their game. Nobody really notices that eldritchWanderer has gone MIA until the Mushroom Farmer points out that he's vanished from his computer, yet he is the middle of a SBURB game. bG: Leon!!! Oh god I missed you! hR: I missed you too, you sexy fairy of a wife of mine!Aya: ...If this is your idea of a joke, Ran, I'LL be the one to stab you. lD: Oh Yukari how I missed you!bY: I missed you too, dear.eB: matespiritship much? Riku: We got rid of that, remember? gG: we only got rid of blackrom shipping!sS: Umm... guys... where's Axemond?Everyone else: Huh? sS: Axemond's trapped in the game!Begin Act 5 Act 2 ==> Act 5 Act 2: She is already here. Begin new game ==> You do that... Everyone has entered the Land of Wishing and Devastation! Game started on server ERROR. Difficulty: reallyjoel'sdad. lD: Uhoh. Umm... that's bad. That's really not very good.bG: Hey, I can contact Axemond now!bY: Anyone got any idea how to find him?aA: I see him! He's heading our way right now! eI: Well well well look who we have here...mB: Where's all the bricks?eW: Welcome... everybody.fG: Did you fall into a Magicant?mP: No. This entire world is a Magicant. lB: Then WHY IS THERE A MOON AND SPACE STATION?!pM: Something's off here... The ancient stench of death lingers here...sN: Cool, more corpse... oh right a dog glub glubfG: Are these... the desiccated remains of Toa?sN: Something new to work with.hT: This place looks somewhat familiar...tM: Nobody's been here for some time.lD: Seconded.dM: But why Wishing? Why is it the Land of Wishing and Devastation?dW: I don't recall this world anywhere. Armin, drop the door so I can grab my TARDIS.lD: Can't. It's broken. I tried, refused to work.nM: Well, I suppose this session's gonna go to Makai and back in a handbasket through high water.tT: I can't contact Riku or anyone not here!hR: This is it, then. This is the end...mC: Don't be such a downer.dP: Yeuh.,'.,,'; *hik* Cher opp *hec*kH: Sukia, stop being drunk off your butt.sG: Some of this looks like good loot... if we can actually get out of this alive.gN: The elemental energy's levels... they're over nine thoUUSSSAAAAANND!bC: No.cG: Hell no.nM: Makai fucking no.aA: Stop that.aG: UN-KNO-WN EN-TI-TY LO-CA-TED bY: Get ready for... that was just a newspaper, M. O. X.bG: I propose that we the party be known as the Order of the Tacit Mutato. hR: I second that notion.pK: That's just beca---uurk!tM: Anyone else? (She'll live.)eI: Thirded.sS: Four people in on it.nM: Yeah, everybody except Ran is in on the group.eW: That newspaper... it's an issue of something called the "Neopian Times."nI: Neopian? I think I've heard that one before... Tahu, do you remember any Toa coming here?fG: Negative. Other than those Toa over there, it's empty.nR: I'm out of my element.hT: Guys? I... I think Axemond found Neopia.
|
|
|
Post by Nefer Nightbug on May 27, 2015 8:31:10 GMT -5
(Cirno can only accept command: Be sexy fairy wife.) (Leon cannot accept any commands.) (Emmet can only accept command: Compose creation -> Fondly regard creation.) (Aya can only accept command: Compose snoop.) (Everyone else can only accept commands: Fondly regard shenanigans, Fondly regard creation [provided Emmet finishes it.]) You enter the Eridanus-Supervoid, a sort of "magicant stuffed inside a magicant."
mP: This place feels even more off than usual... mP: Look out, people are coming! aA: Dedede and the knights... but who is that? (Author's Note: YES I JUST INTRODUCED MORE PEOPLE TO THE GAME DEAL WITH IT) lK: ... I must see the one that defeated the PC. Emmet: Compose creation. Cirno: Be sexy fairy wife. Aya: Compose snoop. ==> Cirno takes some time to chat with the Leech King a little bit.
|
|