|
Post by unaffiliatedmerc on Apr 16, 2013 19:52:11 GMT -5
OK, stop staring at the bottle. You stared at long enough. You should probably dump some of this crap from your inventory. What's the condition this time? You flip a card around. Under the code you see:
*Explain Condition Fetch Modus*
OK, this is easy. The Condition Fetch Modus has a Condition behind the card. You have to complete the condition in order to get the item. If you try to BS your way out, it ejects the item violently.
As you explain, the item that was in the card ejects. It's a...HANGOVER CURE.
You fail to resist swearing at the top of your lungs.
|
|
|
Post by insuppresibleFrost on Apr 16, 2013 20:09:42 GMT -5
--tradingcardGamer [TG] began pestering insupressableFrost [IF]-- TG : btw you gave me a rangoon IF : oh well that's just awful of me to be doin' IF : damn hold on IF : I mean I'm sorry about that. IF : Sometimes I lapse back into my pre-SBURB typing of my accent which the game coding apparently considers a Rangoon. IF : It's a force of habit. IF : When you get to your planet speak to the consorts, they'll have a cure. IF : It's going to be some useless fetch quest or another. IF : Make sure the others don't highlight any of my rangooned text!
Speaking of which, you have your consorts to get some useless fetch quest or another from. Over the treetops you can see billowing clouds of smoke, as if some kind of factory is nearby. Hm, that's interesting. You slowly come to the realization that the game may have turned as much against your sprite's former self as possible by making his consorts more advanced than his backwards ass. That probably means...
A musketball whizzes through where your head might once have been had you not been Jana fucking Philps and been able to roll around the relatively slow moving projectile without batting an eyelash. So the consorts are decently armed, and they're going to be doing their usual 'attack the Hero to test his worth' schtick. Cute little idiots probably don't even realize they could actually kill you on accident. Their coding probably isn't flexible enough to tone down their inital aggression when they're actually lethally armed.
Come to think of it, that's probably what got your spriteplayer permakilled.
? : Go away you knavish rogue! ? : We don't want your kind here!
So you're a Rogue, by the sounds of things. You knew one once before, a Rogue of Time in your second session. Kept doing all kinds of weird timeline shit to make sure 'you guys were prepared', whatever the hell that meant. This would probably be the time to read the Sburb Glitch FAQ, but you're still not the keenest on up and reading all of a sudden. Books are for people without awesome physical abilities!
Your sharpened senses peer through the dim lighting of your land, to find the Consorts who shot at you...
They're bunnies.
Oh my god this is the cutest thing ever you could just run up and hug them all if you weren't being shot at. You're kind of zoning out in fangirl mode, dodging the bullets being shot at you more on instinct than actual conscious effort.
? : Hold your fire! ? : She must be The Rogue! ? : Not a rogue? ? : No, The Rogue!
They suddenly begin to crowd around you, hundreds of them from every direction. They pick you up in their little paws and proceed to mob you into their village. This is the best thing, like, ever.
|
|
|
Post by schadenFreudian on Apr 16, 2013 21:56:31 GMT -5
Alrighty then. With that bout of accomplishment over, you take a moment to consider your surroundings. The eastern room, the one you currently preside in, is...just like the last one. It's almost like the architect just copy/pasted five rooms in a cross pattern, filled them with different stuff, and added an attic. There are several FOLDING TABLES, more than enough GROCERY BAGS and PILES OF PARTY SUPPLIES to give an entire army diabetes. You resist the urge to pick up a morsel for yourself. After all, a good bunch of this stuff is now filled with RAZOR BLADES and BROKEN GLASS. If this was Halloween, you would be probably the most asshole-ish of them all at this point. Well, the ones on the tables are still good. You steal a few cookies. And a cupcake. In fact, fuck it, you have the inventory space. You capthalogue ALL OF THE FOOD. ALL OF IT. Individually, of course. One of the nice perks about the Object-Oriented Fetch Modus is the ability to lug around as many captchalogue cards as you want without having to keep track of them individually. Of course, you immediately abused the shit out of this fact, and now have more blank captchalogue cards than you could possibly ever care to count. Just to keep it safe, you decide to give a custom descriptor to the pastries on the table, as opposed to the... ...wait fuck they all went into your Strife card. Now you can't tell apart the TASTY MORSELS from HALLOWEEN NIGHTMARES. Ugh, you shouldn't have picked this thing up in the first place. At least you have some NORMAL GROCERIES. That's a plus. You list off 'small' and 'edible' as fetch variables, and are rewarded- Oh right. THAT'S why you don't keep your Fetch Modus set consistently to REITERATION. You know, for when you DON'T want to send everything rocketing across the room. You quickly flip that switch back, and pick up the (hopefully not TOO damaged) food items, individually. THEN you list off 'small' and 'edible'. You are rewarded a single carrot stick for your efforts. Sweet. There's another door on the opposite side of the room from where you entered. Where the imp absconded to, actually. You open the door and peak through, noting the last two times you haphazardly opened a door you were attacked.
Welp, it leads outside. You inhale the fresh air and have another elation at the fact that you can see again before realizing that there is a metric FUCK tonne of imps heading towards the very same door you just opened. You close the door and LAD SCAMPER (shut up it's a thing) to the center room, just below the attic. There's some grist lying around, weirdly enough. You expected some imps. You were expecting some alchemical equipment by now. In fact, the lack of cursor floating around worries you the slightest bit. Was IF busy? Did something happen? Nah, she's supposed to be a veteran. I mean, YOU'RE supposed to be a 'veteran' too, since you made it through this game once already, but the girl behind the cyan-colored text is on a whole different level of 'veteran'. She's fine. You're pretty sure. Seeing no imps around, you decide to check on the overly-armored doorstop imp to the south, in the only room you have yet to check. Surprisingly, there's just a bunch of Grist where the imp used to be, and you collect some more BUILD GRIST, TAR, and SHALE before entering.
The room is cut in half by a wall, actually. One half has some BED FRAMES with missing cushions and a few NIGHTSTANDS, while the other is a bathroom with the usual BATHTUB, SHOWER, TOILET, SINK and (empty) MEDICINE CABINET combination. And more grist.
EQ: hey
Ohshi- Oh, it's emoquinesprite again. You give a little wave to the window he floats outside of.
SF: Hey there. SF: You did this? EQ: yeah SF: Thanks and all. EQ: no probs SF: Hey, sorry about the whole emoquinesprite thing. SF: I'm just sort of jarred about this whole predicament. SF: With SBURB restarting and all of that. SF: I'm typically not that rude. EQ: nah its cool i guess EQ: i flipped out too so whatever SF: So you're not upset or anything? EQ: just got off on the wrong hoof is all EQ: so yeah were cool i guess SF: So do you want me to call you...what was it 'Flutterjamesprite'? EQ: nah call me james EQ: or emoquinesprite i guess EQ: that was pretty clever SF: Yeah, thanks. SF: So what's with the imps? EQ: oh yeah those EQ: well everypony prototyped a bunch of shit EQ: and the atomyk ebonpyres just started and all EQ: so you gotta get to your first gate
You consider this train of thought for a few seconds, and actually come up with a question out of all of this.
SF: Speaking of which, I've heard that everyone has a new Title. SF: Except for one, apparently. SF: What is mine supposed to be? EQ: oh yeah youre the page of flow EQ: sick fires and shit EQ: burning motherbuckers left and right EQ: cant stop moving cant lose the fight EQ: never gonna give up never gonna fall EQ: cause when the time comes youre gonna take it all SF: Stop that. SF: Stop rapping. SF: Please, just for me. EQ: oh yeah sorry EQ: flow player thing EQ: youll get it later EQ: anyway yeah this is the land of hills and silence EQ: heres your sprite pendant necklace thing
Emoquinesprite (you think you're just going to call him James now) tosses you a familiar-looking necklace. Or rather, he attempts to toss you a familiar-looking necklace, but since he's outside the window it pings off of the glass uselessly and falls somewhere out of your cone of vision.
EQ: shit sorry EQ: one sec brb
Eh, that's alright you suppose. You wait a moment or two before a familiar black winged horse sprite ascends through the bathroom floor, leaving a small puddle of LIQUID BLACK SORROW where it entered. Ew.
EQ: k here you go
He hands (hooves?) the thingy to you. It's the usual spirograph logo, but red this time around. Weird. You don your SPRITE PENDANT.
SF: Thank you kindly. EQ: no probs EQ: anyway wheres your alchemy stuff SF: That's a good question. SF: I'm under the impression that my server player is quite the veteran, so whatever is holding her up, it must be of the utmost importance. SF: Perhaps battling much stronger foes than I could ever hope to defeat at this stage. SF: Or defending another player from certain doom, like a true heroine. EQ: or getting her flank lugged around by a mob of adorable critters EQ: giggling like a bucking schoolfilly SF: That is...oddly specific. SF: What would ever make you say that? EQ: sprite intuition SF: Oh. SF: Well I heavily doubt that. SF: But still, regardless of the reason, I can't very well reach my first gate without a server player. SF: Any suggestions? EQ: well youre a server player too right
Oh yeah. That's a thing. unaffiliatedMerc would probably appreciate having the rest of his equipment placed. You exit the southern room and quickly ascend the ladder to the attic/room/place. Shit there's imps here too. Or rather, there WERE imps there, but James apparently has DEATH CANNON BEAM EYES. That shoot black butterflies. Hey, you're not complaining. You collect the leftover grist, netting a few more doses of BUILD and AMETHYST before hopping on your computer and relaying as much as you can to the memo. It seems like no one has responded since you left. Perhaps they're all busy as well.
SF: By the way, and excuse my language, but this computer is, as one would say, "Pretty Bitchin'". EQ: i know right
-----------------------------------------
--schadenFreudian [SF] responded to memo AND IT NEVER ENDS right now--
SF: I have returned, and have explored the entirety of my current abode. SF: It is actually quite spacious. It seems that the house was just being moved into when SBURB was launched. SF: So I believe you should have no trouble setting up the alchemical equipment, insuppresibleFrost. SF: I have discovered that my Title is apparently the 'Page of Flow'. SF: I was not aware that Page or Flow were actual titles or aspects, but I digress. SF: My land is the Land of Hills and Silence. SF: Actually, that's beginning to explain why it's so quiet here. SF: No music from the imps either, assuming those giant speakers are supposed to be used for something in the first place. SF: Anyway, I will begin setting down the rest of UM's equipment immediately.
-----------------------------------------
True to your word, you tab over to the server window to find...wow that's a lot of imps. And UM is currently in the bathroom, yelling about something. Several groups of imps are converging on his location at the moment, so you quickly open the Phernalia Registry and, in a moment of quick-thinking, pick the Cruxtruder. And immediately begin swinging your cursor throughout the room, crushing a half-dozen imps and splattering grist everywhere. Well, you broke some stuff in the process, and made a bunch of noise, but you're pretty sure the large amounts of free Grist are repayment enough. Wow, being a server player is more OP than you remember. Like, having a free, indestructible, two-tonne hunk of metal that you can swing about the room like nobody's business isn't gamebreaking or anything. Then again, this is a small amount of leverage in comparison to the unfairness that typically plagued your last SBURB session. You gently place the Cruxtruder down in the corner of the room, where the PAPASAN used to be before you accidentally-but-not crushed it, and actually, there seems to be enough room to put down the gargantuan Alchemiter as well. That half of the room wasn't being used, right? Right. No doors there or anything, so you aren't blocking off any exits. You relocate the COUCH and TELEVISION to the other side of the room before placing down the ginormous appliance adjacent to the Cruxtruder. You're trying to be very frugal with your Grist use at the moment, thus the resistance to expand any current rooms. Hoarding was always a weakness you had in videogames, and SBURB is apparently no different. You need that grist anyway for building to his first Gate. In fact, you decide to pester the lad to bring the new equipment to his attention.
------------------------------------------
--schadenFreudian [SF] began pestering unaffiliatedMerc [UM] at (a time)--
SF: Hello. SF: Not to interrupt, but I've set up all of your equipment. SF: As well as taking care of some imps for you. SF: Outside of the bathroom, you should find a rather large quantity of Grist of various types, as well as your Cruxtruder and Alchemiter. SF: Upstairs is the Punch Designix and Totem Lathe. SF: I will begin construction to your first Gate as soon as you explore the area above your household, which will allow me to build upwards.
------------------------------------------
It immediately occurs to you that this player isn't near a computer, and thus cannot actually receive your messages. Welp.
------------------------------------------
SF: Erm, never mind. SF: I've just realized that you don't currently have access to a computer. SF: As well as my own incompetence. SF: Disregard this message.
|
|
|
Post by unaffiliatedmerc on Apr 16, 2013 22:39:43 GMT -5
OK, that enough yelling. You take the HANGOVER CURE. And your hangover is gone. That was easy. As you unlock the door you see a shit ton of grist. You also see the thingy that helps you make stuff and the thingy that makes totems. You really wish there was a easier to say that. As you collet the grist the imp wish the chainsaw attacks...And misses completely. Maybe it's the helmet that's blocking it's eyes. Or it's MANLEY mustache. Maybe it's the iPod torsOHGODITCOMINGTHISWAY! SHOOTITSHOOTITSHOOTITSHOOTITUSEYOURGUNYOUPIECEOFCRAP! In a fit of panic, you pull out your pistol. And empty the clip in the imps chest. While screaming. Again. You do that a lot, don't you?
UM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
|
|
cursedTinker
Junior Member
[color=c85823]The most delicious of questions.[/color]%\0\%
Posts: 54
|
Post by cursedTinker on Apr 17, 2013 13:12:46 GMT -5
And just like that, you have a small alchemy nook. It's not quite as big as you'd like, but then again, you're just starting. Ginding some imps will probably help.
CT: Then when someone asks where we are, we can bee like, "Oh, hey. Yeah, don't mind me, I'm in the lab." CT: *be GS: Sure thing. GS: Alright Tink, I’ve done what I can with amount of grist I have, you’ll need to collect some more if you want me to make the “lab” a bit more spacious. CT: That looks pretty good, considering what little we have to work with right now. Ideally I'd like to create a larger room that I can put all the machines in, but, like you said, need more grist. Once the imps start spawning, htat should take care of it. CT: *that CT: Once I deploy my client's machines, I'll get on it. CT: cya --cursedTinker [CT] ceased pestering galvinStarlight [GS]--
You tab back over to your conversation with Ness. Last you remember, a rangoon was a type of appetizer served in Chinese restaurants, but seeing as Ness looks like he's been around the block at least once befoer, you take his advice regarding his text.
You pile everything that isn't the computer desk or the bed in one corner of the room and plonk down the ALCHEMETER in the middle of the room, with the CRUXTRUDER, TOTEM LATHE, and PUNCH DESIGNIX around it, making sure there's whough room to still get around.
TG: some alchemy and an escape route would be nice right now if ya'll can be bothered TG: also i caught an ocaroon rangoon from jana so don't mouse over my text or highlight it CT: Got it. CT: I'll get tat mess later. CT: *that
Using the last of the starting BUILD GRIST, you quickly sketch a hallway into the bathrom, seeing as it's unoccupied at the moment.
CT: There you go. One escape route. Unfortunately, the only place I could get to with the grist you had is the bathroom. CT: Also, you're out of shale from the Designix, and almost out of Build Grist from the everything else. CT: I reccommend getting to grinding. --cursedTinker [CT] ceased pestering tradingcardGamer [TG]--
No sooner had you closed the message than you get a knock on your door, courtesy of what looks like an imp in some very uncomfortable armor brandishing what looks like a small plactic pony.
DON: Are you fucking kidding me?
It throws the toy at your head. It bounces off, dealing minimal damage.
DON: Sigh. DON: This is going to be a really dumb first encounter, isn't it?
You draw your TIER 0 NERF PISTOL pistol and begin firing. Your Nerf pistol's SBURB-buffed damage-dealing capabilities are just barely enough to overcome the obsidian armor's HARDNESS attribute, but you eventually get the job done. The imp dies, leaving behind a very small amount of BUILD GRIST, a handful of SHALE, and a hundredth of a unit of QUANTA. You're not sure what that last one is, but it's shiny and therefore valuable, so you collect it anyway. For some reason, though, the quanta doesn't seem to appear in your GRIST CACHE. You check your other inventory slots, but nothing appears. Weird. Oh, and look, the imp dropped its PONYKIND... THINGY. You can never remember the right term for the cards that determine your specibus allocations. You slip it into your STRIFE FOLIO regardless.
You grin as you head towards your alchemy lab. You don't have much, but you should be able to make SOMETHING from what items you have.
You stop when you notice that the lid on the CRUXTRUDER is still capped tight.
--cursedTinker [CT] began pestering galvinStarlight [GS]-- CT: Hey, any chance you can get the lid off my cruxtruder? I don't have anything sufficiently heavy on me, and I wouldn't be able to lift it besides.
While you're thinking about it, you decide to do the same for Ness, picking up a CATALOGUE OF DUEL MONSTER CARDS and dropping it on the lid. It looks like the massive tome is just enough to open it. (un)surprisingly, no KERNEL appears when the lid pops off.
--cursedTinker [CT] began pestering tradingcardGamer [TG]-- CT: You're fucking welcome.
|
|
|
Post by tradingcardgamer on Apr 17, 2013 15:16:43 GMT -5
Ignoring and acknowledging Don's foully worded message at the same time, you do decide to heed his advice and head to the bathroom. You also pick up the DUEL MONSTERS COMPENDIUM that Don opened your Cruxtruder with, and you can barely pass the Mangrit level required to captchalogue it. As you go you check your grist cache, and see that you have a small amount each of Chalk, Rust, and Mercury grist, and a slightly larger amount of Obsidian grist, which you assume to be from the Mefist armour.
Once in the bathroom, where you find no imps luckily, you decide to take stock. You check out the Axe of Mefist, and realize that your arms are not going to hold up to swinging that again- adrenalin was the only reason you managed to do so in the first place. You'll have to alchemize something later that's more befitting to your tastes. And stature.
Looking at the bathroom, you find an abundance of MANLY RAZORS, which you captchalogue for throwing purposes. You know that your attempts to retrieve the server disk made your modus seem unreliable, but you know that you can draw what you need when it COUNTS. You also find some pills that could come in handy, and for good measure you grab the bottle of bleach from under the sink. Who knows when a bottle of toxic, corrosive chemical could come in handy.
Hearing more of the iPod imp's theme becoming louder (you decide to dub the song Battle Against a Sevenfold Enemy), you engage your Fake Duel Disk and prepare to strife. Yes you know it's a cheap plastic replica, but SBURB's damage buffs make it just as effective as any other weapon. Plus it raises your personal ANIMEOSITY stat to high levels, which doesn't do much but is cool to look at. You just need to mind your pitiable HEALTH VIAL and your even more pitiable GEL VISCOSITY and MANGRIT.
You watch as a group of imps scramble up the stairs, and you continue to watch in surprise as Jeremy bursts through the wall and cuts them in half. Then he waves at you cheerily.
JEREMY:hi ness! NESS: Oh, hello Jeremy. Impeccable timing you have, you know that? JEREMY: being a sprite does that. by the way, turn around.
You do so and your casual turn becomes a SPINNING ANIME STRIKE as you bash a Pony+Helmet imp that was sneaking up on you into a pile of Tar, Caulk, and Ruby grist.
Before you head downstairs to face the imps, you have an idea. You slip into Jeremy's guardian's room and grab something you noticed before- an old, beat-up guitar. (Kind of) predictably, by the magic of SLANG SYNONYMS, it is loaded into your AXEKIND Strife Specibus. That may come in handy later.
You descend the stairs with Jeremy at your side, with your Duel Disk at the ready, and ohgodimpssomanyimps. You start throwing captchalogue cards all over the place and despite the rather harmless papercuts that flying Watapons and Self-Mumifications deal, a large number of imps are taken out by a cloud of razor blades and one particularly unfortunate imp is even SPEARED through the FACE with a TOLBERONE. That was just too awesome for words. You even manage to KO a few by actually hitting them, which is really exiting. Jeremy also blazes through a ton of them with his axe and a bunch of red laser things that you think are supposed to be SBURB's attempt at imitating Duel Energy. It looks pretty stupid, but it works.
As you finish off the room (well, more Jeremy does- man he is useful) you corner an iPod+Helmet+Mefist+Tea imp. You bring down your Duel Disk on its head, but it gets in a nasty hit with its axe because you got cocky. Your own fault, really. Your head immediately gets all foggy and you realize, dimly, that it must have drained your Ladpluck, which if you aren't mistaken is a measure of your focus. Jeremy heals you up with some Bioblahblahblahlesence, but your head stays a bit foggy. You shake it off with not much effect and look outside.
Oh look, a 7x Prototyped Ogre.
You abscond. Although you do notice a bike on a bike rack at the door, which you take (the bike). You have an idea.
--cursedTinker [CT] began pestering tradingcardGamer [TG]-- CT: You're fucking welcome. TG: there's a 7x prototype ogre outside i don't even TG: on the plus side i've got a surplus of pretty much every kind of basic grist TG: and a load of build so big that even truckroid would say "nope, not doin' this can't hold it" and drive away TG: and some higher-level stuff too TG: anyways TG: i've got some alchemy to be performin'
|
|
|
Post by unaffiliatedmerc on Apr 17, 2013 15:54:42 GMT -5
You stop yelling. Not by choice, mostly because you ran out of breath. You are not a smart ma-Hey! Chainsawkind! 'You totally can use that' you say, voice dripping with sarcasm. You take it, if only so the imps can't. Could you be stuck with a dumber weapon? This isn't a game. Or a movie. You are not Bruce Campbell. No one can beat Bruce Campbell in a Bruce Campbell-off. He is simpley the best there is.
What the hell were you doing again?
|
|
galvinstarlight
Full Member
You are attractive. I am attracted to you.%\0\%
Posts: 112
|
Post by galvinstarlight on Apr 17, 2013 16:50:28 GMT -5
Is that... Is that pain? You find yourself slumped up against a wall the mustached imp laughing at you. It’s been a long time since you actually felt pain. Your last session you got really in tune with your blood aspect, enough that striding wasn’t really a problem. Damn it you miss being nearly invulnerable. You shake your head and try to refocus on the imp. You look up just in time to see the imp using his mustache to throw one of his friends at you. The obsidian covered imp flies toward you. You perform some kind of ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUTTE with all the grace of a dead cat and narrowly avoid getting hit by the imp projectile. You charge the mustache imp again only to be grappled yourself by the awesome might of its lip hair. The imp smile as the hair begins to contract. Seriously what kind of bullshit is this? Your about to be killed this fast by a mustache. What a way to... SS:Ribbit The imp drops you as the frog, who was at this point using your head as a perch, decides the imps face looks much more comfortable. The imp begins to flail about, trying to remove the frog. You take this golden opportunity to beat the ever loving shit out of the imp with you ROD OF MINUSCULE SIGHT. The imp dies exploding in grist with no more bull shit imps with mustaches around you clean up the room of the other imps finishing with the obsidian armor one who is lying on the floor unable to move. You collect plenty of build, amber and chalk grist. You find Sir Skips hopping about the room like nothing even happened. You decide that he is a pretty cool frog and place him on your shoulder. Hey it looks like that first imp dropped its strife card. You head over picking the card up revealing it to be... Mustachekind. Well this is the single most useless piece of shit you have ever gotten. You decide to stick with your telescope kind for now to explore more of your house.
|
|
|
Post by insuppresibleFrost on Apr 17, 2013 17:55:26 GMT -5
This never stopped being the best thing ever, up until the point where you were dropped onto your posterior without preamble by the unfairly cute consorts you got this session. Even now that you're nursing a pretty bad bruise down there you're in a cute-induced daze. As a mostly no-nonsense Texan, the only consorts you could possibly be even more infatuated with would be PONIES!!!!!But what would be the chances of that? ? : The Queen shall receive you, Rogue.Jana : Queen ? : Stand down, my royal court. Queen ? : So the fabled Rogue has come. Queen ? : She who can withstand our mightiest forces and be worthy to aid our cause.Jana : Queen ? : You stand before the Queen of the Land of Blight and Shade, Queen [INSERT NAME HERE]-Whoa, she just bugged out a little there, with her speech pattern getting all funky, which snaps you out of your reverie. You don't think a game construct is typically named after a string of random numbers and letters spoken in a robotic monotone. You think back on your experiences with Consort leaders, typically they addressed themselves with names akin to the manner that you thought of them. The game, as per usual, must be bugging out since you've failed to meet it's necessary conditions. Jana : why do ya'll need me hereQueen ? : Our land has suffered for a long time under the tyranny of a dark ruler. Queen ? : He has warped the land into a hollow and empty place, poisoned with almost no hope for recover. Queen ? : I, Queen #STYU3629KSD938400-Okay that's really getting weird now. You should probably get some kind of nickname for her in mind. Well she's an especially stout and frumpy little bunny, even shorter than your usual consort, wearing one of those weird neck frill things that they had back in the age of Queen Victoria. Your resist lapsing back into cuteness-overload mode with difficulty. That would play hell with your higher mental faculties. Knowing this stupid game it would probably play hell with your actual stats too. Queen ? : -am beseeching you for aid, as the mighty hero you shall become. Queen ? : As Rogue destined to guide our land to bear fruit once more, you must play the songs that will heal our world! Queen ? : Will you do this for me, Queen Frumpalopagus?Jana : oh my god that nameQueen Frumpalopagus : Excuse me?Jana : nothin' Jana : ya'll can count on meYou don't have a choice, obviously, not if you want to get on with the session, but you'll probably never be able to say no to these little cuties. Hopefully you don't get bogged down in endless useless sidequests. You'll have to make a note to get your fellow players checking in with you on a regular basis, to give you doses of reality. You've been through some tough times before, but this may be your hardest trial yet- Holy guacamole you're a server player still. You quickly call up your server screen on your GALLONBYTE HAT and take stock of the situation. SF's standing in the middle of a room, typing away at a computer. You've got a healthy cache of grist available, so somebody or another's been fighting already. So your bad senses (and TG's, but you're still not sold on Dreams being a prophetic aspect) were correct. That narrows down the possibilities of aspects you might be by some... The emptiest room in the house is more than large enough for everything you need. Efficiency is the name of the game here, as you've learned in your past few sessions, so you deploy all three machines in the same room, even turning them in place to optimize the workflow of the area. You do this with a practiced hand, even with the touchscreen provided by your GALLONBYTE HAT being kind of small, the room is more or less the ideal alchemy station. You grab a couple of FOLDING TABLES from downstairs and drop them onto the CRUXTRIDER to open it, before removing those tables to keep the room clear of clutter. There's a bunch of useless junk in this house, but you don't have time to look at it now! You zoom out a bit and see that imps are laying siege to the home. You flick your cursor at a few of them and grab some of that grist. Starting right at the window of the bathroom SF is hiding in, you prepare a way up and out. Some rails for all your awesome skateboarding needs... Wait no, that's you who does that. Sheepishly you appropriate the rails into a guard rail system for more practical stairs leading in a corkscrewing square upwards. You should probably message him while you're at it. -- insuppressibleFrost [IF] began pestering schadenFreudian [SF] -- IF : Sorry about that. IF : Got caught up in the usual consort village stuff. IF : Things stay crazy no matter how many sessions you've had under your belt! IF : Anyways I'm building up to the gate, if you look out that window in your room. IF : I can't take out all the imps- at least not from here- so you should start going before they catch up to you. IF : Shouldn't be too long before I've built up to the gate.Indeed you're already halfway there. Meanwhile you've been paying no attention to Queen Frumpalopagus, but you know that you'll be given some quest for some dungeon, as has been the case with all Consort leaders in your past sessions. Queen Frumpalopagus : -and in conclusion, you may find the first item of prophecy within the hallowed halls to our north. Queen Frumpalopagus : Be wary, as the minions of the tyrant control that place!Yup.
|
|
|
Post by tradingcardgamer on Apr 17, 2013 18:02:24 GMT -5
You decide to abuse the fact that the deck on your wrist contains a bunch of extremely powerful things for alchemy. You go through the big rigamarole of things to do to alchemize (why is it so complicated?).
--tradingcardGamer [TG] began pestering cursedTinker [CT]-- TG: just shoot off the alchemizer when i need it, k?
FAKE DUEL DISK || "Raging Flame Angel"
You create the amazing weapon, the brokenly powerful, the...
BURNING WING OF THE INFINITE CHOIR!
...except that that a number in scientific notation (NOTxGOING TO^HAPPEN) times more grist than you have, as well as some types you don't even know of. Also, you seem to remember something vaguely about angels being bad for alchemy. Something about the endgame? You don't know, your first session never even got that far, you hit the reckoning just after Planet Healer. You do recall something about the "Infinite Choir" being bad news.
Either way, you decide to set your sights a little lower, and also to get your hands on a better computing device.
COMPUTER || GLASSES = COMPU-GLASSES
Ah yes, the classic computer of the glasses-wearing player- convenient and cheap. You put them on immediately.
You now try the idea you had, using another of Jeremy's handy cards.
BICYCLE || "Psychic Commander" = PSYCHOPOD
It's a little pod-tank thing like Psychic Commander flies around in, complete with a little cannon, although it doesn't seem to actually fire anything. That did dip pretty deep into your Grist Cache, you'd better keep an eye on that.
Now for some weaponry, because you're already seeing cracks in your FAKE DUEL DISK. You try a weaker favorite in your deck.
"Raging Flame Sprite" && FAKE DUEL DISK = FIRE BURNING
It's a cooler-looking, plus more compact, duel disk, and as a bonus it's not made of plastic! It's some sort of metal, or advanced ceramic, or maybe you're looking too far into this. Also it has a red color palate with the ziggzaggy triangle Raging Flame pattern. Although that did cost a heft amount of your Grist, both your MANGRIT, LADPLUCK, and ANIMEOSITY get a boost.
Now for Axekind, you dig around in Jeremy's piles of cards, and find what you're looking for- a copy of Musician King.
BEAT-UP GUITAR || "Musician King" = "Old-Time Blues"
...Well, that's exactly wrong. You didn't want a new card. Maybe the other way...? At least you didn't lose much grist on this.
BEAT-UP GUITAR && "Musician King" = ROCK THE DUEL
That's a bit better, a little expensive but eh. Now to try something else...
ROCK THE DUEL || AXE OF MEFIST = AN AXE TO GRIND
Awwwwwwwwww yes. It's both a literal axe and an electric guitar. You do a big pinwheel thing with your arm.
...Well that was a bit quiet. Oh duh, you need an amplifier. You grab a speaker from the old computer, and a backpack that was just lying about.
BACKPACK || SPEAKER = AMPLI-PACK
It's a bit heavy, but nothing you can't manage- so pretty light, considering it's nothing you can't manage. It's a big pack thing with two big speakers snaking up in metal cones over your shoulders.
You have a little Grist left, not enough for any new weapons, but maybe your wardrobe deserves a bit of an upgrade.
"Raging Flame Pyromancer" && FIRE SHIRT = RAGING FLAME ROBE
It's a long robe, dark orange and with more Raging Flame pattern at the sleeve ends and bottom, as well as your FIRE symbol on the front, that is undoubtedly very magical and also... a bit... breezy. You borrow a sweater from Jeremy's wardrobe for some help.
SWEATER || RAGING FLAME ROBE = DUELIST FROM THE HOOD
Despite the silly name, it's the Raging Flame Robe in hoodie form, and you put that thing on and watch as your ANIMEOSITY climbs to ludicrous levels, and also get a boost to your GEL VISCOSITY because evidently it provides some armor bonus.
You plug your guitar into the speaker and try again. A satisfying and very loud chord rings out. You open your eyes and find that your room now has a picture window, glass not included. That's some strong bass!
Oh crap. It seems the wall you just blew out stood between you and Mr. 7xPROTOTYPE BEATDOWN COMBOB Ogre.
You pull out your Psychopod and abscond your way out of there, up above the house.
TG: seems building isn't a priority atm TG: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
You allow yourself a moment of unrestricted silliness before you start getting tea and giant sugarcubes railgunned at you from the ogre's giant teacup hand.
|
|
|
Post by unaffiliatedmerc on Apr 17, 2013 18:21:24 GMT -5
With nothing better to do, you decide to head back to the computer. Once there, you find that you saver player both tried to talk to you and responded to the memo.
-- unaffiliatedmerc [UM] responded to memo AND IT NEVER ENDS right now--
UM: I got the most useless weapon right now. UM:I got chainsawkind. UM: Also, no longer hungover.
--unaffiliatedMerc [UM] began pestering schadenFreudian [SF]--
UM: You're a page? UM: Ah, jeez. UM: Congrats, you are the the combat class of Flow. UM: Welcome, combat brother. UM: Also, thank you for killing the imps.
|
|
galvinstarlight
Full Member
You are attractive. I am attracted to you.%\0\%
Posts: 112
|
Post by galvinstarlight on Apr 17, 2013 21:44:23 GMT -5
You step into the kitchen which conations: one (1) refrigerator, one (1) stove and counter top, one (1) dining table and four (4) chairs. You don’t spy any imps in the kitchen or down the hall that leads away to the rest of the house. You decide to head down the hall which contains a door leading to a bathroom, and door leading to another bedroom, and a screen door leading to a garage in which sits a single pick-up truck. You approach the pickup truck and open the unlocked door. Inside, you see nothing of particular interest except a single pair of shade inside the glove box. Yes based on the obscene amount of light you encountered in opening a window earlier you could properly use theses. What’s your modus right now? Ah yes the acronym modus. This modus comes with quite the number of inventory slots, but it can be a pain to use if your no good at acronyms, which is what the whole ACRONYM modus is designed around. Seriously its right there in the name. No one should be surprised. You pick up the Super Hud Altering Darkened Eyewear Stuff or SHADES, in your modus for later. You’ll more than likely end up alchemizing these with your computer to help stay in touch with everyone. After taking the shades you turn to find the room covered in imps of all different types of prototyped combinations. There’s got to be at least fifteen imps staring you down right now. There’s no way your possible going to be getting through this. Not without some thing to help even the odds. GS: You imps look a little down. GS: Super Hud Altering Darkened Eyewear Stuff. The shades appear in your hand. You don your awesome shades as you turn and throw open the garage door. Light pours into the previously darkened garage. You pull out your telescopekind as you charge and deliver your punch-line. GS: You should “Light”en Up.
|
|
|
Post by schadenFreudian on Apr 17, 2013 22:25:55 GMT -5
Hm. UM seems to be flipping the fuck out. Seeing as he has no computer with which to receive your messages, you decide to-
Oh? A message from your server player?
--------------------------------------
-- insuppressibleFrost [IF] began pestering schadenFreudian [SF] --
IF : Sorry about that. IF : Got caught up in the usual consort village stuff. IF : Things stay crazy no matter how many sessions you've had under your belt! IF : Anyways I'm building up to the gate, if you look out that window in your room. IF : I can't take out all the imps- at least not from here- so you should start going before they catch up to you. IF : Shouldn't be too long before I've built up to the gate. SF: It's not a problem. You obviously have some important business to attend to as well. SF: With James here I'm pretty sure I'll be fine for a bit. SF: Though I believe this 'pretty bitchin' computer could use some alchemization. SF: Excuse me for a moment. This conversation will be much easier to attend for me in a few moment. SF: God damn never mind the stupid syntax. I'm gonna go do some science real quick.
----------------------------------------
Bluh, forced grammatical intellectuali- TYPING FANCY IS HARD. But at least IF is online, which you're EXTREMELY happy about. James seems to notice your antics, and floats over from his window perch. Apparently he was watching the building outside while you were conversing.
EQ: sup EQ: gonna alchemize some stuff SF: Yeah, I was intending to. SF: You don't mind if I use your computer, right? EQ: not my computer anymore EQ: besides youre probly gonna do something bitchin with it EQ: go right ahead
You give a nod to your sprite, and captchalogue the BITCHIN BLACK COMPUTER, towers and all, giving it the custom descriptor 'alchemical reagent' for good measure. Then, not wanting to delay your server player any longer, you scamper down to the- Oh. Alchemization room. You make a note to compliment your server player's efficiency (and speed, at that), but for now you have some SCIENCE to get down to. Or rather, some very simple alchemization. You're only going to need one thing for now, you suppose. You enter the appropriate codes for your BITCHIN BLACK COMPUTER and BLACK WINTER COAT into the PUNCH DESIGNIX, making a punched card of each before doing an ACROBATIC FLIP (read: you walk over) to the TOTEM LATHE and sliding both cards into place. TOTEM GET. You give it the descip- Well, you're only going to be holding it for like five seconds anyway. The ALCHEMITER is right fucking there. You place the TOTEM on its respective pedestal, and the arm-laser thing gets to scanning it. You give the thumbs up to your server player, since the computer in your Sylladex is a wall-mounted one typically, thus making you unable to communicate when it's in there.
BITCHIN BLACK COMPUTER && BLACK WINTER COAT = TOWER OVERCOAT
God damn this thing is heavy. It's like wearing a suit of armor. Made of computers. This would normally be the phase where you start alchemizing everything you own in an attempt to make “the sweetest of loots”, but you haven't got the time with all of those imps you've been informed of outside. Your server player is waiting, and you just needed this one thing for a way to remotely converse with your new friends. Speaking of which, you boot up the thing post-haste, bringing up its... ...where's the screen? You inspect your new piece of equipment, and discover that the actual window for viewing is on the sleeve. The large, heavy, probably ten-pound sleeve. Heavy, cumbersome, but efficient and holy SHIT it gives HOW much Gel Viscosity?! You're keeping it.
----------------------------------------
SF: Alright, coat's working. SF: I'm not going to waste any more time alchemizing. SF: Thanks for the heads up abo
---------------------------------------
You'd finish that sentence, but a loud machine-gun tapping sound catches your attention from behind. You turn around to spy another goddamn imp. With a teacup arm. And hooves. Shooting...sugarcubes. A lot of them, it looks like. What's with these imps and trying to kill you with food? It occurs to you that the 'machine-gun tapping sound' was coming from those same little cubes pinging uselessly off of your back. You didn't even feel it behind four inches of computer equipment. God damn, Gel Viscosity is officially your favorite stat ever. You list off the fetch variable 'heavy', and a BOX OF UNDETERMINED CONTENTS is jettisoned imp-ward, splattering Grist and christmas decorations everywhere. Welp. You recaptchalogue the PILE OF CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS, collect your Grist, and finish typing your previous sentence.
----------------------------------------
SF: Thanks for the heads up about the imps. SF: I'll be ascending now. SF: Just keep doing your awesome thing, I guess. SF: That's working out so far.
----------------------------------------
True to your word, you begin climbing your ladder back to the attic/room place, and spy James half-floating through a wall.
SF: Hey. EQ: hey again EQ: you going up SF: Yup. EQ: okay gimme a sec
The sprite approaches you at a startling rate and disappears into your pendant necklace thing in a flash of light. You...don't remember your last sprite ever doing that, but whatever. Anyway, you- Oh, hey. It looks like UM's pestering you. You decide to give him a quick check-up before beginning your ascent. You'll apologize to IF later for the delay.
-----------------------------------------
--unaffiliatedMerc [UM] began pestering schadenFreudian [SF]--
UM: You're a page? UM: Ah, jeez. UM: Congrats, you are the the combat class of Flow. UM: Welcome, combat brother. UM: Also, thank you for killing the imps. SF: Ah, thank you. I suppose? SF: And you're quite welcome. Those imps weren't very difficult to dispose of. SF: Have you asked your sprite to assist you? SF: James here is being QUITE helpful. I believe I've made a new friend. SF: Albeit one slightly obsessed with the equine species. SF: Anyway, I'm going to attempt to ascend to my first Gate now. SF: Wish me luck! I might not be able to respond for a bit.
--schadenFreudian [SF] ceased pestering unaffiliatedMerc [UM]--
------------------------------------------
With that out of the way, you attempt to make up for lost time, and clamber out the window as insuppresibleFrost instructed. A spiral staircase greets you outside, and...a lot of imps below. You're suddenly very glad you didn't take the door outside. Supporting the weight of your cumbersome TOWER COAT, you begin your ascent to the roof.
The roof is quite flat. This only substantiates your belief that this entire household was originally just a single 20x20 box copy/pasted into the shape of a cross with one more on top. It's almost surprisingly flat up here. And...no imps, apparently. Above you, quite a ways up, you spy a familiar red spirograph symbol. Your first Gate. Now you just need to reach it. You're not too worried; IF is pretty damn good at this, and you're not about to lose confidence in her architectural abilities. Or rather, you WEREN'T too worried, but now there's a hand the size of your body reaching over the side of the house, pulling something much larger behind it. You're not a complete idiot, so you know an Ogre when you see one. You're actually starting to wish you had decided to go through a few more alchemy sessions before ascending. Some actual weapons would be pretty fucking handy, but instead you're loaded with some CUPCAKES and the three coats in your Jacketkind Abstratus, so...yeah. Regardless, you brace yourself for battle. And by 'brace yourself', you mean edge away from the giant appendage that wants to ruin your day. Slowly, another hand comes up. Holy FUCK that ax is ginormous. You edge a bit further away as the rest of the body comes into view. You're now standing at the feet of a twelve-foot Ogre that's been prototyped with the weapons and armor of some bullshit card monster, with a speaker in its chest, a pair of wings, horses' hooves for feet, a football helmet, and probably a Health Vial that's larger than the state of Cincinnati. Shut up you can't think straight.
SF: James. SF: James if you wanna come out and do your eye laser thing now that'd be great. SF: James? SF: Fuck.
|
|
|
Post by dementedDamsel on Apr 17, 2013 22:46:26 GMT -5
As you finish you delivering galvinStarlight's various pieces of machinery, you start to wander about when someone's going to hop to it and give you the same courtesy. You don't want to admit it to yourself, but you been itching to alchemize some of your most trusty weapons and gear. The Composite Candy Gladius, the Electric Imp Shaver, the Whovian 4th Edition Battle Scarf, the Regisword of the Pink Kingdom. All of these shamefully OP weapons have seen you through session after session, and you really just feel naked without them. You suppose eventually, your own Server Player will reveal him/herself in time. You just got to be patient and simmer down that somewhat disturbing desire to murder things. Seriously, the whole secretly bloodthirstily, Action Veteran thing is really starting to creep you out sometimes. It makes you wonder if your seemingly well-built persona of calm and responsibility, might just start to broke down and you cause to revert to very, very bad former habits. Oh well, it probably won't be an issue, and hey maybe this session has a Heart Player to deal with all of that stuff for you.
You completely finish with galvenStarlight's room (you really ought to learn his name, especially since you kind of make a point of people knowing your own), and decide to notify him of this fact. You use the Sburb interface to navigate through GS's new home, in an effort to find him. You intend to poke him ever so lightly to get his attention. Hopeful he get guess that this means your finished, and he get started alchemizing some "sweet loot", as the kid's call it these days. When you find finally find him you discover to your horror, and slight amusement, that he's confronting about 15 or so IMPS, while wearing admittedly awesome shades and wielding a telescope as if were a club.
Well, you must be honest and admit this kid's got some rather impressive and striking, brass nards.
Bully for you, GS.
As awesome as this one-man display of heroics is, you decide that helping the guy out a little would be the best thing to do right now. You start using your cursor to pick up a few vile IMPS, and start bashing them up against the nearest wall. Hot damn that felt good!!! You remember not to derive your fellow Player of the awesome feeling of good old IMP BASHING, and use your cursor to immobilize an IMP or two so GS can get a good wack on the bastards.
It's times like these when you realize just how beautiful Skaia's depiction of teamwork is.
|
|
galvinstarlight
Full Member
You are attractive. I am attracted to you.%\0\%
Posts: 112
|
Post by galvinstarlight on Apr 18, 2013 0:51:37 GMT -5
You finish of the rest of the imps with gusto. You take a few hits yourself, but that is to be expected in a such a fight. Who knew sugercubes could hurt? Also your ears are probably bleeding right now. GS: Well that fight was certainly... You quickly take off the shades only to put them back on again. GS: En“light”ening You don’t care if it’s a terrible pun or if it’s the second one you made about light. You noticed a few imps being tossed around without your consent, which you assume to be dementedDamsel’s way of saying that she’s done in your room. You begin to look about the room for anything else of use. On a small table in the corner you spy a tool box which contains various tools (no shit) including a hammer. You captchpalouge the Hemorrhage Annoying Many Mooks Exceeding Repetitions to help alchemize your weapon. Once done, you pick up the grist with the majority once again being amber and chalk. It seems those resources are the most common in your land. Which would of course explain their color. Not that you can really tell inside the house since it’s so damn dark. You place the shades back into you modus. Wait a minute should it be really bright in here with the garage door open. You turn to inspect just what the deal is. Only to meet the horrid visage of a massive ogre wearing an equaling massive helmet. You begin to remember what one imp with a mustache was able to do to you, and you nope right the fuck out of there. You doubt the ogre will be able follow through the garage but you decide you should probably get back to your room, alchemize some stuff, and get through your first gate. Sir Skips ribbits his agreement. Before doing so, you decide to check around the kitchen for some useful supplies. You check the drawers of the counter top first to find several (~) knives, three (3) pots, and one (1) cooking tray. You take the Kutting Nimble Innocence Verticals Especially Silent, for use of ejecting from your modus in an emergency, as well as the Perfected Optimal Trauma Smashers for use in alchemizing your ROD OF MINUSCULE SIGHT. You don’t care if the knife acronym is cheating, it works and that’s all that matters. You decide to check the fridge next, just in case there’s something useful. You find the fridge to be empty of all expect one cupcake. That’s almost as useless as your Mustachekind. Almost. With nothing left to do you head back up to your room.
|
|