NOTMS 5: D3B2

[Nefer Nightbug]

DISK 3 BOOK 2: Adrift In Space Simulator Twenty-Seventeen



Herobrine: Oh, I heard about this part.

Xehanort: Oh? What have you heard?

Herobrine: That it's the shittiest part of the game.

Nefer: How so?

Herobrine: It starts as a six hour long unskippable semi-interactive cutscene with no save points and only fifteen music tracks to choose from followed by twenty-two pages of discussion that saves after each line.

All: Yeah, that's shit alright.

Xehanort: So what are we gonna do now?

Nefer: What we’ve been doing in the first place: writing shitty fanfiction!

Herobrine: How about “gentlemanMannerism goes fishing?”

Nefer: Sure, let's go with that.

[Nefer Nightbug]

on day, gentleman-

Nefer: CUT! CUT CUT CUT! YOU GUYS ARE JUST THE WORST! Gimme dat. Okay, from the top:

[Nefer Nightbug]

Act 1: Interfishin’

One day, gentlemanMannerism became as bored as a [drunken] [sunspot] and decided to go fishing. She [flew] to her personal [swamp] in the Dreamlands and [door]ed her [crying flying] [1]-[inch] long fishing [fish]. She [warp]ed to her favorite fishing spot and [ran] her [line]. It went only a measly [hundred] [miles]s.

[Nefer Nightbug]

Nefer: guys what the fuck
Nefer: this isn't a fanfic, this is Mad Libs
Herobrine: That’s what fanfiction is, right? You take a character, pick a topic, and vomit words all over the place.

Nefer: No, it isn't.

Herobrine: You're the last person I want to hear that from!
Nefer: My fanfic is carefully cultivated so as to offend as few people as possible!
Herobrine: Yeah, well your subtext is so unsubtle that you've already made half the world angry!
Nefer: Yeah well those people are going to hell.
Herobrine: And now you're declaring yourself the arbiter of a religion that you actually bear a significant distaste for their barbaric ways.
Nefer: THE HELL OF THEIR RELIGION, NOT MINE!
Herobrine: Oh, so you DO admit -
Nefer: … _{really it's more camouflage than anything to call yourself a Christian in this godless day and age.}

Nefer: And it doesn't matter what other people think, because I HAVE LIKE ONE FOLLOWER!

[Nefer Nightbug]

Act 1: Interfishin’

One day, gentlemanMannerism became as bored as a [adjective] [noun] and decided to go fishing. She [action] to her personal [noun] in the Dreamlands and [action]ed her [adjective x2] [number]-[unit] long fishing [noun]. She [action]ed to her favorite fishing spot and [action] her [line]. It went only a measly [number] [unit]s.
On her first cast, she caught a treasure chest filled with [food] and [body part]s. With a flick of her [body part], she

[Nefer Nightbug]

Nefer: No, no, NO! No more instances of [body part]! I'll allow [bone] but not [body part]!
Herobrine: argh you're really cramping my creative process here nef-nef
Xehanort: How about we use eyelashes instead?
Nefer: Sure!

[Nefer Nightbug]

Act 1: Interfishin’

One day, gentlemanMannerism became as bored as a drunken sunspot and decided to go fishing. She swam to her personal swamp in the Dreamlands and parked her crying flying two-micrometer long fishing fish. She farted to her favorite fishing spot and threw her yarn. It went only a measly thousand light-years.

On her first cast, she caught a treasure chest filled with wontons and raccoon baculums. With a flick of her wings, she cast her line again, only to fish up fifteen wild giant enemy crab with twenty-three eyelashes each that quickly rioted up the nearest fluffle. Annoyed, she cast the line once more, only to hook an entire planet made of serval on her line!

Dumbfounded, gentlemanMannerism scratched her head in confusion before she had a wonton for a snack. She had no clue how an entire world could be made entirely of serval. This was odd even by the standards of the Dreamlands - it would take baking to get to the east of it. A lot of baking.



The end? Yeah, the end. Totally the end, because anything more would be BORING AS HELL.

[Nefer Nightbug]

gM:… this just seems too silly to be real. NEFERRRRRRRRRRRRRR ZERO-ZERO-SEVENNNNNNNNN!







Herobrine: Nefer, have you any idea where gentlemanMannerism is at this point in time?

Nefer: Uh, the Dreamlands?

Herobrine: … Yep, our game is fucking haunted.

Nefer: I'm pretty sure it's just gM’s shtick. She just does that. I'm pretty sure she can actually see us, and could quite possibly leave canon for just a little while to go and beat us up.

[clarionKnight]

I found this really sad.

[Nefer Nightbug]

Jun 15, 2017 8:30:28 GMT -5 clarionKnight said:

I found this really sad.

It's kinda supposed to be. You see, this comes right before the major worldbuilding episode in which a lot of truths get spoken - something that's been vastly overdue for a long, long while. It's basically a giant DISTACTION that comes out of left field after the mess that was Disk 2 Book 3 and also Disk 3 Book 1 to an extent, where everybody's mostly just putting up a giant act to deal with the past events.

_{(It's also further self-deprecation of myself, as I'm still doing this shit that I started towards the end of tenth grade.)}

Also I'm surprised to find out that someone new read it. Yay me, I guess?

[Nefer Nightbug]

Herobrine: Hey, the cutscene should be over by now, assuming the game didn't do something stupid.
Nefer: Thank the gods. I was getting tired of Whereabouts of the Heart, Voyage 1969, The Space Shrine Maiden Appears, Procyon, Tranquility Base, Alpha, and Haunt Muskie. At least the programmers were nice enough to make them automatically switch out to the next track after the current one finishes.

[Nefer Nightbug]

Act 2: The Magus Re-Conferencing of Ages

{bgm: Kingdom Hearts II - Reviving Hollow Bastion; Homestuck - Doctor; Touhou 01 - Eternal Shrine Maiden; Hina no Fuwa Fuwa Dream - One step for tomorrow; Rabi-Ribi - Midstream Jam; Aquaria - Bright Waters; Iji - All That Can Wait}

Yukari: Okay. The Magus Re-Conferencing of Ages is now in session. First, I'll call roll. Is Riku Hakurei here?

Riku: yes, mom, of course I'm here.

Yukari: Is John Egbert here?

John: i’m here, mark me present please.

Yukari: Is Yukari Yakumo of Gensokyo here - oh wait, that's me. Whoops.
Yukari: Is Tenkai Zufeng of Mugenri here?

Tenkai: Yep.

Yukari: Do we have a delegate from Rabi-Rabi Island present?

Rita: I, Rita, the witch of the tundra, stand present.

Yukari: Did Ren Yatsusakura show up, or is he being a curmudgeonly kyuubi-no-kitsune again? … Looks like he's not gonna show.
Yukari: Is Miriai-san of Japari Park here?

Mirai: Why'd my personal stagehand have to drag me into her little magic convention because she needed a biologist?

Yukari: I'll take that as a yes. Is gentlemanMannerism here?

gM: I'm sorry I can't attend in person, but as I understand it, you needed someone whose eyes see Actuality. You're just going to have to deal with talking to a tabletop hologram.

Yukari: Okay, glad that's done.

[Nefer Nightbug]

Yukari: Let's see what's on the schedule today… hmm… forgotten history, elemental theory, boundary physics, magiscience, magibiology, ectobiology, those living in Unreality, fantastic zoology, land mechanics, keyholes, the Ignitions, fully-integrated waifu systems… wait, what?

Yukari: Ignoring that last one, we also have to talk about the growing threat of Chara Rosemary, the biomechanics of Sandstar-based lifeforms, making statements about the state of faith in the outside world, calling each other names, talking shit about the author, trying on funny hats, playing a Dungeons and Dragons campaign (3.5e, of course,) having lunch and dinner, wondering how my son tamed the Daleks, getting---

Riku: We are not doing those last seven things.

[Nefer Nightbug]

Yukari: Let's start our opening statements with the topic of faith.

Riku: Yes, let's.

Rita: That is to say, if I've been listening to the truth, there basically is none. The eight million kami are all in Gensokyo, Christianity’s pretty much become a religion for furries, and El Dorado is a slowly-dying place. I'm pretty sure everything else is long dead.

gM: Actually that's not true. Islam is prospering in the City of Wonders, and five Muslim fairies pretty much led the charge against Trump.

Yukari: Please don't remind me of that dick…

gM: Yeah, I don't like to think of him either. That nuclear-armed trigger-happy sleazy unintelligent fascist bigot made me lose just about all my faith in humanity.

John: can we please change the subject and stop wallowing in the past?

Tenkai: Yes, let's. Shall we talk about forgotten history first?

Riku: Leave it to me. You see, it all started back at the very beginning...

[Nefer Nightbug]

Riku: Way back when, so far back that we can't even measure how far back it was, there was probably just Fantasy. Some wackjob god later said “let there be light” and then there was Actuality, but that's also too far back. The same god followed up a few days later by saying “let there be life” and then there was Unreality. The god was murdered within the hour by its own creations, but permanently sealed Fantasy with their dying breaths.

Riku: A very long time later, but still too far back to measure, a group of beings known only as the Mongolians took an infinite amount of space from the Zebras. From this space came Reality: they called it the Eridanus-Supervoid after their leader… we think. From there, they built the constructs that we have tentatively dubbed the “Shellcores” - some sort of early biomechanical entities, made of a mechanical shell and a bioniclular core.

Riku: But even then the Mongolians still didn't feel safe from the Zebras. So they went to their goddess, Skaia, and she used all her power to create the Multiverse. However, there were a few problems with that: Skaia was also the one responsible for keeping the barrier preventing the Zebras from invading. So to facilitate this, she placed her soul in a gem called the Diadem. This would allow her physical form to remain in the Outer Ring and her spirit to remain alive, thereby keeping everything from bleeding out into everything else.

Riku: This was exactly (π i)^jegonath years before the Night of the Mongolian Safari. It's a very complicated number, but it works.