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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Jun 30, 2017 10:32:15 GMT -5
gM: What species would you like to know about, Mirai? Mirai: As many as possible.
gM: Well let’s see… we’ve got Novakids, Sylvari, Carapacians, assorted youkai, whatever the hell Primeus is so you’re not going to be told about that guy, different types of undead, Charr, Asura, Norn, nobody’s ever been an expert on Daleks so we can’t teach you anything there… um, Florans, Apex… what were those oriental fishmen called again? Hyotl? Riku: Um, let’s see… Hylotl. gM: Thank you very much. Although really the most important ones you’d need to know, seeing how you are Gensokyo’s newest neighbor, are the first four and the various types of undead. The other races tend to keep to themselves these days, unless they’ve joined the Covenant in their war against the Ignitions. Mirai: How about we start from the top?
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Jun 30, 2017 11:54:13 GMT -5
gM: Alright. So, Novakids - they're an interstellar race of stardust people with a baffling biological structure that pretty much uses the base hume template. What's even stranger is that apart from an extra X chromosome, they have pretty much the exact same genome as humans, with many of the same spots mapped to the same things. They also often have a short attention span but a large curiosity.
Mirai: Just like a sand cat.
gM: The strangest thing about them, though, is that they can also reproduce in female/female pairings. I assume they place some sort of stored genetic matter in their partner's womb and the egg fertilizes it, but that's just conjecture. What else... hmm... they can regrow lost body parts; they can reproduce across species lines with other humanoids; they taste and feel vaguely like fairy floss... they're seemingly stuck in a wild west culture thanks to their short attention span; they really aren't very well-adapted to staying still; they, um, they're not religious folk and have little respect for zealotry...
Mirai: what was that second one
gM: ... the one about them being able to reproduce across species lines with... oh. Why do you ask.
Mirai: Could they potentially have children with a Friend?
gM: You'd have to let me study a 'friend' first before I can give you a conclusive answer, but there's a 50.1% chance that the answer will most likely be yes from either side of the gender spectrum (unless it's something exotic like what the Elutara have.)
Mirai: Um, okay, here. Uh, be careful with it - the hair of a Friend is known to revert back to Sandstar if mishandled.
gM: Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm... okay, this is a little unprecedented. Female/female mating pairs aren't going to work in this case for some reason.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Jul 18, 2017 10:25:11 GMT -5
Mirai: What are the Sylvari?
gM: Okay, that's a real long explanation. Here goes - oh godsdammit, hold on I have to yell at my teammates.
gM: (Doremy, what are you doing not training? You're saying a million completed rounds of SBRUB in a single hour is outright impossible? Wait, you're saying you actually doubt that I could do that?!? Normally I'd go and act offended, but... you're right, I can't quite pull that off. I can do it in an hour and five minutes, though. Now get back to work dammit.)
gM: Now, where was I... hmm... let's see, if the Elder Dragons were sealed at the end of year in which the Night of the Mongolian Safari took place, then that would be around 10,000 Before Exodus (local timeframe, of course) so the first true Sylvari would have awoken in 1302 AE... except Time Compression happened twice in the interim so they would have started being produced by the Pale Tree in about year 207205991, I think? Or was it a year later? Not really sure.
gM: Now, the original Sylvari were basically magical dryad plant people that were uplifted from being the minions of an Elder Dragon by an elderly Centaur. They have no forms of reproduction other than their Pale Tree.
gM: Now Purring's weird custom race is the strangest hybrid of hume, original Sylvari, and (as she claims) some sort of cat. Then again, this version of the Sylvari is more of a racial modifier, giving extreme power at the cost of fertility.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Aug 2, 2017 8:03:31 GMT -5
gM: Okay, now I'm really curious. Just what are these Friends you keep talking about. Mirai, explain yourself.
Mirai: umm
gM: Explain.
Mirai: ...
gM: EXPLAIN.
Mirai: Yukari-sama, help me. Yukari: What do you need, Mirai? Mirai: I need you to fetch me a few files!
gM: HURRY UP. I don't have all day, my team is probably slacking off right now. Yukari: Here you go. You caught her off guard.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Aug 2, 2017 8:10:28 GMT -5
gM: Hmm, let's see here...
On the "Human Transformation Phenomenon" Observed in Animals This report will cover the tentative knowledge of the phenomenon of animals transforming into humans (in appearance) as we have observed within Japari Park. We are calling them "Animal Girls", as evidently their forms possess animalian body parts and equivocal abilities. As per reports by specialised zookeepers, these body parts demonstrate identical functionality and behaviour to their regular counterparts: when touched or pulled on, the girls become ticklish, get angry, bite back, et cetera. As revealed by x-ray examination and inspections of their bodies, these features do not affect their human anatomical structure at all. It's unlikely that we will be able to conduct a proper investigation within the Park, but it is imperative that this information remain confidential, to protect the outside world from the inevitable chaos that its revelation would engender.
On "Clothing Differences" Resulting from Habitat Even regarding the girls' clothing, much is unclear. Animal Girls that came to be in the centre of the Park, particularly those from the breeding facility, tend to be dressed in clothes that resemble ready-made items, in stark contrast to those born in the outer Safari. (As one can clearly see, the details are vague on this.) One possible explanation is that their forms are influenced by their close proximity to cultural gardens. At the present moment, we have defined their animalian body parts and unique clothing as "Kemonoplasm", which we are continuing to research with all due haste.
Discussion Regarding Extinct Species (Incl. Postscript) It would seem as though the recent reports of an Animal Girl created from an extinct species are utterly prepostorous. However, her characteristics unmistakably resemble a Smilodon's unique features, leaving me with no reason to doubt the accuracy of these claims. It is clear that, with regards to the phenomena caused by the mysterious substance "Sandstar", we must discard our preconceived notions and face these new facts. This is an abnormal situation. Ever since the mass outbreak of Ceruleans, we have received one outrageous report after another. The pair whose identification has been postponed are surely "Shisa".
gM: So, uh, how do the tails and ears interact with their clothing?
Mirai: Well, if they aren't conscious of their clothing, their tails just clip through it; but as soon as they become aware of it, their tails begin to make physical contact. While the tail is anatomically correct, there are NO deformations in their human body to speak of. Mirai: Although the animal features aren't anatomically connected, they are as warm to the touch as the real thing; and when touched or pulled on, the feeling is transmitted to the body. Their ears and tail manifest via Kemonoplasm. Mirai: There is a higher concentration of Kemonoplasm in their ears, tail, and shoes than there is in their clothing. If a Friend strongly believes that they are no different than humans, they are able to deliberately make their beastial parts vanish; although due to a strong conception that their tail is "part of their body", it can't be removed. Mirai: Extinct and fictitious animals are comprised almost entirely of Kemonoplasm, although ever since Yukari here barged into my life the only actually fictitious animal would be Peach Panther (who we don't talk about in polite company.)
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Aug 2, 2017 8:43:18 GMT -5
gM: So, are we done here? Yukari: Yes. I motion to finish this discussion. Riku: Agreed. Mirai: Yes, let's. Rita: Amen to that. Tenkai: Finally... Now I can get back to destroying fidget spinners. John: i never got why those suddenly became so popular.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Aug 2, 2017 8:45:38 GMT -5
Act 3: Gray Wolf makes a Touhou manga.
Meanwhile in Japari Park...
“… And then the moon doctor said to the princess, ‘Just have the characters say any old thing, then in the last panel, show the Scarlet Devil Mansion or the Hakurei Shrine's offertory box exploding, and you've got yourself a Touhou manga.’ ”
An awkward pause settled over the group consisting of Ezo Red Fox, Silver Fox, Grey Wolf, and Reisen Udonge Inaba, the latter of which had no idea how she even got into Japari Park from Gensokyo. She had a sneaking suspicion it was Master’s fault, or if not, at least the fault of a Lunarian. (They were a bunch of ungrateful bastards, after all: she saved them from fairies on the Moon, and instead of a welcoming party, she was used for target practice by a firing squad.)
With much trepidation, Reisen raised her hand. “What happened after that?” She could already guess the punchline: the mansion would explode, followed by the donation box, ending with Sakuya’s pads. Such a sequence of events had actually happened thrice before, and nearly every person spying from the Outside World had either heard of or drawn those happenings.
She was pleasantly surprised to hear Grey Wolf’s answer: “Well, the clock tower and donation box exploded, killing twenty fairies and starting an incident. The end.”
What Reisen didn’t expect, though, was for everybody, including Beaver and Giraffe, who had just shown up, to visibly blush at that statement. Was death such a rare thing here that just hearing about it was embarrassing for the locals? How could it possibly be more improper than speaking of someone’s pads shooting through one’s shirt?
Reisen suddenly didn’t want to stay anymore. This silly place was stretching the limits of her belief. Perhaps she’d be better off spiting Master by asking Kanako for a way home, thereby putting her in serious debt to the Moriya Shrine. (Her next thought was that Yukari would end up in a Moriya Shrine conspiracy and have to start fooling around again... with magic... because Reisen had used Eirin's shady new drug during an excursion to the Dream World.)
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