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Post by earthenElemental on Aug 16, 2012 22:25:10 GMT -5
Myra LeJean. We knew you as co-player, admin, Founder of these lovely forums. Snarky and sarcastic, knowledgeable, frighteningly competent. You left a last message to us, a year since you've last contacted us. None of us knew where you were. None of us knew you were suicidal. I - I spent ten years looking for my co-players in the wilderness of unreachability in Sburb. I'm so sorry I didn't get to you in time. I wish I could've talked to you before this. Talked you out of it, if that was even possible. I wish I could've said goodbye, before you wrote me off as dead. I wish I could've told you I was still here. ---- I remember you as my online and then in-person correspondent. Your acerbic wit cut to the heart of the matter better than vinegar through a sink full of dishes. Your knowledge kept me centered during many dark periods in my life. Your attitude was one that I, even today, still aspire to - you knew the world, in its full dinginess and horror, you knew your odds were long, you knew why nobody else fought, and yet you fought for the chance to make it better anyway. I remember you as the one who cared even though she insisted loudly that she couldn't. I remember you teaching me how to work PGP encryption, and proxy routing, and the darknets, so that we could talk securely enough that I could say everything that was on my mind. I remember your Cataclysm. I remember talking to you through Transamphibian, through the temporal fuckery and emotional volatility that entailed. ---- I remember how you tried, and you failed, and you tried again because you believed in what you were doing, until you did succeed, and in so doing inspired so many of us. If, if I - I wish I could've done something, before it was too late. Myra LeJean, you will be deeply, deeply missed. ---- gentlemanMannerism's legendary Recitation for Death #23, in hopes that it will be a comfort: > May the Pulse draw from his love, > the Wave her courage, > and the Grid their hopes and dreams; > > I will let the Faith teach me the wisdom of the fallen, > help me keep moving to the Groove, > and synchronize the Beat to my heart. > > So wish I, to live the way the heroic died. > So wish I, to fear the path the just died. > So wish I, to understand the fate of the disappeared. > > So wish I, to avenge the fate of the meaningless. > > Amen. |
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Post by ExtropianDreamer on Aug 17, 2012 7:37:11 GMT -5
Huh. Wasn't aware she'd kicked it. Guess I should spend more time in the chat, though I don't think I ever actually interacted with her much. A pity. 
So long LeJean. Sleep well, and I'll see you at the end.
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Post by spacetimeCounselor on Aug 20, 2012 2:53:35 GMT -5
...huh.
So this is whose batshit security system I've been battling, huh? This is who routed all their voidstructures through origin space, somehow? Who scripted a bugtrap that would drive a machine feral on the off chance that it had vestigial motor capabilities? Who had me chasing myself around in circles voiding link properties to no avail?
Well. I don't see the whole story here, but I'm inferring this is some kind of suicide note. From it being called "Goodbye to all the world", anyway. Nuggets like "I never understood it. Maybe I never will. But I hope I can, someday." confuse me.
You were pretty clearly a genius, Myra. Even in death, your convoluted server architecture stumps me at every turn. And you can bet I'm not going to give up on it- it'd be an insult to your memory to give up now. But that leads to a difficult question, doesn't it?
Why?
Why was it necessary, exactly, for your life to end? Did you think that by leaving, you'd be helping your friends somehow? Did you think, perhaps, that you were averting some disaster?
I don't know what it is you had to "try for", but what is it that's even worse? What could possibly be so horrible, a few years down the road? I can only imagine you were afraid of what you might become- what you wouldn't be able to "stop yourself" from becoming.
But the question, of course, is "how bad could it be?" Every day- more frequently than every day, every instant of multi-universal existence- this game makes people into Wastes and Graces and players of Breath, or gives them over to Corruption or worse. What could the continuation of your life cause, that is so much more unacceptable than what this goddamn game does without cease? How many people could you possibly kill, compared to those you could save with your life?
It doesn't take a coward, you know. When you stand above the abyss, and look deep into it- and say to yourself "I will go down there, and give myself to it, to accomplish some good"... that takes extraordinary bravery. What it does take, for one to give oneself to the abyss... is nothing short of foolishness. It is a fool who says to himself "the only way down is to jump". The wise man brings friends to aid him, and a torch to light the way, and most importantly: a rope to climb back out. So that the abyss can be known, and conquered.
So in the absence of further evidence, I can only choose to consider you a fool, Myra LeJean. A brave and noble fool, who leapt into a dark abyss because you feared the heavens.
And maybe those tentacled folk out in space have caught you, and hold you there over the pit. Perhaps you haven't fallen into the depths, yet, and perhaps your friends will yet come, with rope and torch in hand, to lift you out of the abyss.
And perhaps on that day, you'll TELL ME HOW YOU CAN ROUTE A PARADOX THROUGH A TYPE-THREE TURING LOOP'S PROCESS TO FOUL THE WHOLE GODDAMN THING UP, or let's say how you can VIOLATE THE [BIGBANG] VOIDSTRUCTURE INSIDE AN ELEMENTARY LOOP or even REPORT EXTRADESTINATIVE ERRORS WITHIN AN UNRESOLVED FRAMEWORK GOD DAMN YOU HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE, DO YOU MEAN TO SERIOUSLY TELL ME THAT YOU CAN JUST APPLY ANY VOIDSTRUCTURE TO ANY FINITE TEMPORAL CONSTRUCT??? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO ARNOLD?!?
GOD DAMN IT WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEEEEEEEEEEM
anyway yeah i need to wash the taste of poetic bullshit out of my mouth. and don't any of you founder types mouth off at me for yelling at your dead friend, okay??? less you got something to say about extenuating circumstances or something important i wasn't aware of
jesus
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Post by stanzicApparati on Aug 20, 2012 10:33:20 GMT -5
don't any of you founder types mouth off at me for yelling at your dead friend, okay???
Honestly, spacou: what the fuck is even wrong with you? Most people would get that it's not okay to pull this bullshit, especially not here of all places. What's wrong with you, that you don't get that? |
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Post by spacetimeCounselor on Aug 20, 2012 12:34:24 GMT -5
Oh, why am I not surprised that you'd show up and smother everything in your wet blanket. What's the point of a memorial thread if not to deliver some parting words to the dearly departed? Where else am I going to tell her this?
EO was, as far as I know, a brilliant and wonderful person. That doesn't change just because she rolled 1 on that one wisdom check. My all-caps frustration with her programming acumen is meant with the utmost respect, and if anyone cares to take issue with my words, they can do it themselves. You're not my goddamn nanny, Stanz, and if we're going to be conflating normal, un-fucked-up human modes of interaction with your convoluted alien relationship garbage, I'd deign to comment on your pale forwardness. But I won't, because that's stupid. If you want to know what this isn't the place for, it's you and your meddling.
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Post by mislaidLullaby on Aug 20, 2012 16:07:56 GMT -5
...
If you two want to keep having this argument? Do so in PMs. This is exactly the wrong place for it, and the pair of you are acting like complete children.
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Post by genesisArtificer on Aug 22, 2012 4:31:51 GMT -5
spacetimeCounselor, you were kicked from the IRC. do you want to be unable to post here, now?
As for Myra... I feel guilty by pumping myself with Light-psybuffs to the point of bursting with happines rainbows when I learned about her demise. I... I know for fact that she... she won't... crap not getting there.
and servers like that are not a simple matter. You need a genius, a madman, and a guardian to make them work. No amount of boring hacking attempts will bring them down. And thank you for the warning that you would try, cause guess what? aH is after you now. have fun doing something other than basic user interactions B]
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cannonOverload
Full Member
SIX SUPERHEATED ROTATING CHAINSAWS.%\0\%
Posts: 107
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Post by cannonOverload on Oct 27, 2012 16:01:52 GMT -5
CALMING STATEMENT: GIVE SC A BREAK, WOULD YOU.
And maybe those tentacled folk out in space have caught you, and hold you there over the pit. Perhaps you haven't fallen into the depths, yet, and perhaps your friends will yet come, with rope and torch in hand, to lift you out of the abyss.
EO was, as far as I know, a brilliant and wonderful person. That doesn't change just because she rolled 1 on that one wisdom check.HE HOLDS ONTO THE HOPE THAT SHE MIGHT STILL EXIST IN SOME WAY, AND RESPECTS HER GREATLY. HE SAW HER CODING, WAS AMAZED BY IT, TRIED TO FIGURE IT OUT, GOT BITTEN BY HIS COMPUTER FOR IT. LEJEAN OBVIOUSLY PUT HER LIFE'S WORK INTO THIS, SC WANTS TO FIGURE OUT HOW IT WORKS SO THAT THE DISCOVERIES THIS ART IN CODE FORM HIDES, CAN BE SHARED FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL OF US. THAT, AND BECAUSE HE'S A STUBBORN LITTLE MEATBAG, AND I RESPECT THAT. ALSO, FROM WHAT I'VE READ, SHE WAS YOUR RIVAL, WASN'T SHE, SC? |
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