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Post by captianMaudlin on Sept 15, 2012 22:40:44 GMT -5
"Credit screen's bugged, you can't win". They tell you that, but they don't tell you the exact FLAVOR of helplessness it fills you with. Each of us eight Heroes hugged each other, sniffed the snot back into our noses, and... one by one... lost each other forever.
The house I am in is not my own. I am in a three-floor McMansion on a hill, overlooking the fiery death of a world that is almost like, but is not quite my own. I wonder how many people are down there, burning and bleeding, their lives ended by NO FAULT of their own while I escape on someone else's session.
This COMPUTER is not my own. It is an Alienware box, clean and nearly unused. A Sburb server player I don't know is dropping Totem Lathes and Cruxtruders in REASONABLE places, next to a tacky looking dojo.
Yes, a dojo. Looks like... whoever's life I've stolen... fancied himself a ninja or something. The walls are littered with replica swords from every videogame and movie you can think of. Hey, there's the Vorpal Sword from that Alice In Wonderland "re-imagining". Cute, but not as cute as the samurai armor on a stand.
The guide says that on replays, your sprite gets prototyped with the unlucky schmuck you replaced. Some kid named Maxwell, glowing a lighter shade of brown than my text, PISSED that I've got my hands all over his stuff. Says he would have liked to have an FAQ to consult, because this game is unfair bullshit. Sorry you couldn't make it past pre-entry, dumpus.
No seriously, I'm sorry.
I combine him with some Japanese action figure he never played with, looks like a guy in a green caterpillar costume. "Kamen Rider", the box said. Seems like a plain mook monster, should be fine.
This Cruxite object is not my own. This isn't the Chalice I drank from, so long ago. This is a Knife, sharp and shining in it's umber glass-plastic MOCKERY of my hesitation. I do what Maxwell would never have done, and make a sacrifice. Just one drop spilling onto the carpet, and I enter.
This life is NOT my own. I only hope that I can wear it better than the previous owner did.
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Post by captianMaudlin on Sept 15, 2012 23:56:32 GMT -5
"Hey there, Dennis!"
"AAAAGH! What are you d... who the HELL are you?"
{Oh fuck. I'm stuttering again. OH FUCK.}
{Just like the Guide said. "It even feels like you lose maturity." I worked for WEEKS to overcome my speech impediment, growing braver with every pointless fetch quest and escort mission. Eventually I didn't even need the Page's Heart manipulation, the rewiring I FORCED him to perform. And now all my work was ERASED to I can be level one again. Young. Inexperienced. Weak.}
"Um, hello? you still there? I'm your server player? pushwallSeeker? That's right, the Ward of Time himself!"
"Oh, yeah. Im my first session, the Sylph did sa... DID SOMETHING kind of like this. I think I'm more competent than the guy she was helping, though."
"You don't sound very much like a Knight of Hope."
"And YOU can go suck an Imp's BALLS, Maxwellsprite."
"Oh, you are competent, all right. You trained me to be the badass I am right now, after all. Dragged me right behind you and let me climb those rungs."
{The Time traveller says I SURVIVED, which is nice of him. He also told me I have to do stuff, which is obnoxious as FUCK. I guess if a Knight is anything like a Page, I'm supposed to go on Quests. More escort missions, GREAT.}
"What's my Quest today, Pushwall?"
"Simple. All you have to do is accept me returning your favor. Follow me, bask in the glory of your own pupil, and become the mofo who made me great."
"I guess? I mean, it's not like I have a c... HAVE A CHOICE."
"Don't look so sad, Dennis. I brought you some sweet gear to use with your Instrumastery. I mean Item Mastery. And hey, you told me your favorite candy in the future."
{Oh my god. Penuche fudge. FUDGE. All that smooth melting sugar... brings back MEMORIES, you know. Okay, maybe I can live with this.}
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Post by captianMaudlin on Sept 16, 2012 2:49:22 GMT -5
"Okay, we have no time to waste. If we are going to finish this session in less than a week, we have to do everything in the least number of moves possible. That's why I alchemized your watch with the computer and a Swiss Army knife-
"I've done that MYSELF before. I probably told you about it in the future."
-Shush. We're live, remember? If you want to do a liveblog of your achievements, you can't stop to type."
"Was I supposed to fight monsters alongside this guy? Ugh."
"So this is the part whe- WHERE WE alchemize stuff?"
"The Sboobs love this part. Vets get jaded, but it's hard to argue with a sample of Blackrock!"
"Blackrock. The stuff from the Ultima videogames."
"What? No, that's what the Sylladex calls it. I figured out the code for a chunk of Bedrock, and &&'d some stuff to make it light as cloth. No longer indestructible, but close enough. Besides, I seem to remember you wearing a sweet suit of black samurai armor..."
"Yeah, but first I have to do (Captain's Casual Wear||Samurai Armor) to get something that will actually be fitted to me."
"Right, quick thinking will get you far fast! Follow it up with (Captain's Cuirass||Blackrock Ingot) for that... yeah, that's the armor I recognize! Still fresh, no scars yet. Weird."
"...Scars?"
"You need a weapon now. It doesn't matter what your Specibus is, you can almost certainly combine it with a Regisword."
"What's that? Monsters, you say? Keep on ignoring them, please, I can push them back myself."
"I use a Pen, actually."
{This Pen is not my own. This is not the elegant wand I used to writ words of NOTHINGNESS into the Black King's carapace. The Regipen is a heavy lump of black iron, more like a short spear if you are generous. Compared to what I USED to be, it rings hollow. No seriously, I just hit an imp and it made a gong sound.}
"Fun, right? You look like a Knight already. Now throw one of those replica swords in there."
"Let's see... (Regipen && Fake Master Sword) gives us the Great Fairie Pen. Which looks like Lisa Frank's vibrator."
"Yes, a vibrator that fires sword beams when your Health Vial is low."
"I'm not going to hurt myself for m- FOR MORE power."
"You don't need to, I brought more power with me. We got Mumford's Noose, a glove that has a huge push hadoken thing, that's cool. There's the Shield of Raw Steel, another Blackrock product. It just repels everything. These shoes here reject gravity pretty well, and these sunglasses don't do anything but they look pretty boss. And yes, they're your prescription."
"Thank you. I, uh... thank you."
{I just had it all handed to me. Just like that. No struggle. Why does it feel wrong?}
"You guys made a mess of the house. What will Father think? Damn rednecks."
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Post by captianMaudlin on Nov 10, 2012 19:34:16 GMT -5
[Sorry I took so long in between posts. I've seriously wondered if posting this story is even a good idea, but it has to be told. A prince of Skaia can be anxious too, you know.]
{Gate 1. The Land of Pearl and Asphalt.}
{This Land is not my own. The Land of Air and Darkness was a TYPICAL Void player's Land, from what I've heard, but this... broken pavement and tidal pools filled with junked cars, it's... DAMN. Where do the cars even come from? They're not Consort sized.}
"Stop staring at the ground like that. It's creepy."
{Wait. I think I get it.}
{Those giant clams burst up out of the asphalt with just their muscles. They've REJECTED their artificial fetters and breathed in FREEDOM. They say a pearl forms through constant irritation... I think I LIKE this spot.}
"Ahem. Underlings."
"GAH!"
{Imps, a few Basilisks. Some of them are the caterpillar men I prototyped, others are those tank-cleaner suckerfish. one is... is that a plastic FLOWER arrangement? Nevermind. I have my Pen out.}
"Leave the Worms alone for now. Just pick at the fish. I won't steal any experience from you, no worries. This is nothing you can't handle."
{Figures. I'm... not used to just RUNNING at monsters. It feels like a stupid idea, but I charge one and beat it over the head with a sharpened Pen and it explodes into goodies. Not being Cryptic is KIND of fun, actually.}
"Stop swinging that blade like a baseball bat, you'll break it. That narrow thing on the end looks kind of like it's sharp, doesn't it? Why don't you try using that, instead of sucking and dying."
"The imps are changing. Why are they che-CHANGING?"
{The Worms are bursting from their pupae, showing the claws and chitin underneath. They are awkward and shambling, but STRONG. My Pen slides off of their shells, leaving only scratches.}
"Okay there, Dennis? You look a little bloody."
"IT FUCKING HURTS. Get these things off of me!"
"I think I'll back up a few steps."
"Ugh, you horrible- I'll do it."
{Maxwellsprite fires lasers at the Basilisk on my chest, but it just tanks the hits. I can TASTE my blood, and feel the thing's breath on my face. I hate this Underling I HATE pS I HATE this WHOLE SESSION-}
(Motherfucking kaboom.}
"...Giant explosion? That was..."
"A healthy, typical Hope manifestation. Cool, right, Dennis?"
"COOL? I almost DIED bece-BECCO-BECAUSE-"
"And you got more rungs out of it than if you had smushed the Worms while they were still weak. C'mon, you have a Legendary Nap to take."
{And I HAVE to follow this guy. I hate time travel.}
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