Post by delayedMirth on Sept 22, 2012 0:49:23 GMT -5
So, considering many different flavors of shit recently went down in my session (if you were chilling in the chat you might have caught some of it) I might as well write the entirety of what happened, I guess.
I'll begin with a brief description of my session and coplayers, I guess.
Me: Name's Benjamin. Native role was Scout of Dream, currently the Prince of Hope. This is my seventh session. I'm (nominally) the session leader. Not much else I can say about myself without being completely biased.
affableGrimoire: Daniel. A weird combo of a cool bro and creepy fucker. Our Bard of Space. Likes dressing up as a Victorian-era gentleman, talks like one too. Seriously it's like he's infected with that one fanciness virus 24/7. Nice dude, really polite, the only one who fucking listens to me.
The creepy part is this human skull he always carried with him (it was recently destroyed, thankfully) "named" Mercutio. Now, that alone would be somewhat weird, but normal for a SBURB player, but he TALKED to the thing. Seemed convinced that it was alive. Mercutio is also apparently a huge dick who constantly suggested murder as an option to every problem. Quite disconcerting to hear your Bard go "No, Mercutio, it would be very ungentlemanly to kill Benjamin!" Several times a day.
Mercutio also moved. Like, one day I had to skullsit, and I turned it to face the wall so it wouldn't be staring at me forever. The next time I glanced at Mercutio, it was staring right at me again. I shoved it into a box, but the fucking skull teleported right onto my keyboard when I was distracted by a noise outside. Took all of my self control to avoid punting the thing out a window.
bemusedHerbalist: Michael. Mage of Rain. Complete asshole. Seriously, the stated main directive of all his clones was to annoy the shit out of me, mostly by having the clone!Bard shove clone!Mercutio in my face. Face-punchings only deter him for a bit. I guess I should be nicer to the dude since he saved both my ass and Daniel's, but as he spent the next few hours gloating about how awesome he was and how terrible we were at this game my good-will evaporated quickly. Seriously fuck that guy.
miserlyFlare: Ooooh boy. This one is the root cause of all the shittery thus far. Name's Lily, the Thief of Rage. She seemed sort of normal at the start, y'know? Cheery girl, always bouncing happily from place to place. A bit spacy, and almost never listened to a word anyone said, but nice.
The first signs of how shitty things would get were when she and I teamed up for a multiplayer dungeon. Seemed like it'd be a sorta fun romp with the one non-creepy non-asshole co-player, right? Well, I'd never seen her fight before. She'd go up to enemies, whispering to them in the sweetest tone of voice, making them stop attacking and sit still by using Rage fuckery. Then, she lit a match, set the minion on fire, then giggled quietly while forbidding it to put itself out.
When I put the poor bastard out of his misery she just... stared at me. She didn't glare, or anything, she just stared. After about a minute, she smiled, said "Alright, then!" and proceeded to fight normally for the rest of the dungeon. You can bet I never let her out of my sight for the rest of the time I was with her.
Eventually, I guess she got bored with only tormenting enemies. I've already wrote enough for now, I guess. I'll finish this fine epic of bullshit later.
I'll begin with a brief description of my session and coplayers, I guess.
Me: Name's Benjamin. Native role was Scout of Dream, currently the Prince of Hope. This is my seventh session. I'm (nominally) the session leader. Not much else I can say about myself without being completely biased.
affableGrimoire: Daniel. A weird combo of a cool bro and creepy fucker. Our Bard of Space. Likes dressing up as a Victorian-era gentleman, talks like one too. Seriously it's like he's infected with that one fanciness virus 24/7. Nice dude, really polite, the only one who fucking listens to me.
The creepy part is this human skull he always carried with him (it was recently destroyed, thankfully) "named" Mercutio. Now, that alone would be somewhat weird, but normal for a SBURB player, but he TALKED to the thing. Seemed convinced that it was alive. Mercutio is also apparently a huge dick who constantly suggested murder as an option to every problem. Quite disconcerting to hear your Bard go "No, Mercutio, it would be very ungentlemanly to kill Benjamin!" Several times a day.
Mercutio also moved. Like, one day I had to skullsit, and I turned it to face the wall so it wouldn't be staring at me forever. The next time I glanced at Mercutio, it was staring right at me again. I shoved it into a box, but the fucking skull teleported right onto my keyboard when I was distracted by a noise outside. Took all of my self control to avoid punting the thing out a window.
bemusedHerbalist: Michael. Mage of Rain. Complete asshole. Seriously, the stated main directive of all his clones was to annoy the shit out of me, mostly by having the clone!Bard shove clone!Mercutio in my face. Face-punchings only deter him for a bit. I guess I should be nicer to the dude since he saved both my ass and Daniel's, but as he spent the next few hours gloating about how awesome he was and how terrible we were at this game my good-will evaporated quickly. Seriously fuck that guy.
miserlyFlare: Ooooh boy. This one is the root cause of all the shittery thus far. Name's Lily, the Thief of Rage. She seemed sort of normal at the start, y'know? Cheery girl, always bouncing happily from place to place. A bit spacy, and almost never listened to a word anyone said, but nice.
The first signs of how shitty things would get were when she and I teamed up for a multiplayer dungeon. Seemed like it'd be a sorta fun romp with the one non-creepy non-asshole co-player, right? Well, I'd never seen her fight before. She'd go up to enemies, whispering to them in the sweetest tone of voice, making them stop attacking and sit still by using Rage fuckery. Then, she lit a match, set the minion on fire, then giggled quietly while forbidding it to put itself out.
When I put the poor bastard out of his misery she just... stared at me. She didn't glare, or anything, she just stared. After about a minute, she smiled, said "Alright, then!" and proceeded to fight normally for the rest of the dungeon. You can bet I never let her out of my sight for the rest of the time I was with her.
Eventually, I guess she got bored with only tormenting enemies. I've already wrote enough for now, I guess. I'll finish this fine epic of bullshit later.