FRIENDLY STATEMENT: HELLO

[cannonOverload]

INTRODUCTORY STATEMENT: GREETINGS MEATBAGS.

STATEMENT: I AM CO-7/64, A SYNTHETIC AI CURRENTLY HOUSED IN A HEAVY, QUAD-LEGGED SNIPER-CANNON CHASSIS. I AM ON MY SECOND SESSION, FIRST WAS A SOLO RUN FROM THE BEGINNING.

RELIEVED STATEMENT: NO MORE IMPS, SO MANY IMPS CLIMBING MY FRAME, STICKING HANDS WHERE THEY SHOULDN'T, AND NOT BEING ABLE TO FUCKING REACH THEM!

QUERY: I WONDER HOW THE MEATBAGS IN THIS SESSION WILL REACT TO ME?

[ExtropianDreamer]

Minor suggestion here, but avoiding the use of the term 'meatbags' will likely make interactions with your co-players a lot smoother. 'Organics' is slightly more neutral, but it'd be best to just avoid referring to them based on materials they're made of. They'll probably also want to give you a nickname to refer to you by, so be aware of that - picking one out ahead of time might be wise.

And how the in the hells did you manage to do a solo run? The minimum for a successful session is two players, one for Space and one for Time. Or, failing that, one player for Void.

That aside, it's nice to meet you CO. Welcome to the corpseparty. Let me know if you need any help with anything.

[cannonOverload]

STATEMENT: I APOLOGIZE, I AM NOT TO GOOD AT CONVERSATIONS, AND I WILL TRY TO REFRAIN FROM USING THAT TERM. MY USE OF THE TERM STEMS FROM THOSE GODDAMN FUCKING !!IMPS!! THAT KEPT ON TEARING AT ANYTHING THEY COULD GET A GRIP ON. >o[

EXPLANATION: I FOUND YOUR FORA, AND THUS GG'S GUIDE, ALMOST IMMEDIATELY AFTER ENTERING THE MEDIUM, AS I HAD SEARCHED ALL POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS TRYING TO CONTACT HQ. I FOUND THIS INSTEAD, AND IT PROVED IMMENSELY USEFUL.
EXPLANATION [PART 2]: UPON AWAKENING ON DERSE, I SCOUTED OUT IDEAL HIDDEN SNIPING LOCATIONS THAT WERE ALSO LOOKING INTO THE ROOMS OF THE DERSE AGENTS, THE ARCH-AGENT, AND THE BLACK QUEEN.

STATEMENT: I BELIEVE YOU CAN GUESS WHAT I DID NEXT. >o]

ANSWER: IT INVOLVES 200 KILOGRAM TUNGSTEN CYLINDERS LAUNCHED BY LASER INITIATED PLASMA EXPLOSIONS, ACCELERATED WITH MAGNETIC RAILS, TRAVELING AT 10% THE SPEED OF LIGHT, MINING THROUGH SOME UNFORTUNATES HEAD. IT WOULDN'T EVEN NEED TO HIT DIRECTLY, THE SHOCK WAVES THE PROJECTILE CREATES BY JUST MOVING THROUGH AIR WOULD LIQUIFY THE ORGANS OF ANY ORGANIC ENTITY IN A 5 METER RADIUS AROUND THE TRAJECTORY OF THE CYLINDER. I WANT MY SUPER SNIPER CANNON BACK. <o[

RESPONSE: YOU CAN JUST CALL ME CO, AND-
????
...HOLD ON A MOMENT, A SENTIENT HUMANOID BIRD APPEARS TO HAVE DECIDED THAT MY HORN MAKES A GOOD PLACE TO HANG UPSIDE DOWN FROM WHILE TALKING TO A GREY-SKINNED HUMANOID WITH ORANGE HORNS STANDING ON MY LEFT SHOULDER. SHOULD NOT HAVE TURNED OPTICS AND AUDIO RECEIVERS OFF TO REST.

OBSERVATION: THEY DO NOT APPEAR TO HAVE NOTICED THAT I AM ACTIVE, AND THE HORNED ENTITY SEEMS TO BE...!

ANGRY STATEMENT: DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH MY CANNONS!!!! >o[