I Know What I'm Doing, No Really: The Musical!

[apianAnchorite]

So it kind of sounded like a good idea to keep track of what even happened someplace safe, here, where we can all access it? I'm not really sure--it's our first run and all, so.

Honestly, I'm not even sure how it turned out like this. We were just supposed to be playing a game, keep in touch now that everyone's moved for college and stuff. I'm playing with a pair of my best friends from High School, my younger sister (17) and her douchenozzle boyfriend, and my younger brother (11) back home. (I'm not giving names or handles because they're kinda iffy about the forums just yet, for the record.)


Our Role breakdown is:
Knight of Stars (me!)
Dame of Breath (my sis)
Page of Mist (the douche)
Rogue of Rhyme (my male BFF)
Prince of Mind (my female BFF)
and
Heir of Flow (my most awesome little bro)

I'm feeling, in one way, kind of super guilty at the moment, honestly, for getting them all into this. Though, I mean, it's probably better than ded forevers by epic meteor fail, but still. Reading the faqs and fora, the game sounds pretty shitty overall. But we're here now, so it kind of is what it is.

Our Rogue got my bro in first cause he's our best gamer (kinda--our Prince isn't super patient with hyper kids) and we figured bro would need a little extra time to get the controls and stuff. He prototyped a tiny plushy godzilla because, and I quote, "Gojirra is totally sick!! DUH." But apparently wooden swords do more damage when they're on fire anyway, so I guess it worked out ok?

They had me get him in next cause I'm kind of terrible at every game and they figured that between him and the prince I wouldn't fuck up too badly. He prototyped his goddamned Rikku figurine, so now he has this totally bodacious blue bombshell following him around telling him how to be even more awesome. Seriously, she doesn't even have goddamned legs what does she need a slutty little miniskirt for? Also, all his imps are sparkly now, what does that even mean? He's been chucking blank DVDs at them like shitty little shuriken. So much bullshit.

Our Prince got me in, then. I was trying to prototype a cup like a sensible person, but I uh. Kind of tripped. A bit. And ended up prototyping the little box of my dogs ashes I should have buried already but just hadn't. Um. My sprite's kind of adorable? Also I really miss my puppy though. And it can't talk much. >.> I grabbed the first thing to hand when little creeps started jumping around trying to eat my face, which ended up being my broom (what? I was in the hallway, ok?) except it kind of broke and now it's registering as handlekind. Did you know that they make little whimpery "urgh"s when they crack open? Truefax. Our Prince kept getting super facepalmy over my just knocking them back and running, but seriously, it's so awful.


What with the, you know, frantic building towards the gate and also trying not to die, I didn't pay a suuuuper lot of attention to the others. Our prince is using bowkind (because she's super ~*^awesome^*~ with her recurve <3) and I think prototyped the shrine photo of her grandmom?

My sis got her in, so then the asshole got my sis in I guess. She's using poisonkind right now--I guess she decided to spray cleaning stuff in the imps' faces for some reason and it worked unexpectedly well?--but usually she uses clawkind so IDK. I didn't see what she prototyped.

And then my bro got that douche in or something. Whatever. Ass.

Um. And while this was happening, none of use died on our lands, either, so go us! >.> I'm typing this curled up against the side of a rock here in the Land of Dunes and Fog, outside one of the rabbity guys' villages where there aren't too many mobs. The rabbity guys are kind of freaking out right now I guess because someone fucked up their little stream thing and now they have no water, so I guess Im going to go check that out next. The air here tastes like salt, even though I don't see any ocean, so they probably need it pretty bad.

That's pretty much what I know at the moment. The others aren't really answering my IMs atm--I guess they're probably busy or something? Um, what else. Oh--right. I was all in a flailing freakout earlier cause I read that you're supposed to have a time player and HAVE to have a Space player in order to win/not die, and uh. If you were paying attention up there, you might have noted that we totally lack either, and I was pretty sure we were completely and utterly fucked. But apparently we're in a Scratched session, so it'll probably be ok. Or, you know, our ancestors won't show up later and we'll all die. But that's super likely anyway, so I guess it'll be what it'll be.

...I really miss my mom, you guys.

[apianAnchorite]

Quests, quests, quests.

Hit up the land of temple-gates and birds (apparently, in her native language this is some kind of pun or something? IDK, it's pretty though) to do some dungeons with our Prince of Mind. She alchemized herself one of those fancy white suits with the mandarin collars; she seriously looks like something straight out of disney, it's so awesome.<3 She kept doing this thing where she'd pull a bunch of mobs even though she's not super great at straight-up strife, and then refused to abscond. I didn't even realize what she was pulling until I hit stupidly high levels of my echeladder. Seriously, I leveled more in the last two days than I have in the whole rest of the game.


I'm...a little disturbed at how good that feels. :/

LOTGAB (and you have no idea how long it took me to figure out that when she was typing TTTNK in all our pesterlogs, this was what she was talking to. Luckily she doesn't do that out loud. IDK how you'd even pronounce TTTNK) is super cold and windy, but we curled up together outside on some of the neutral ground, to sleep in this little hollow behind a hill. She's really warm. Tomorrow we're going to go see a place she found where the trees all grew together in a big circle or something? I don't know, but it sounds like she really loves it. She says the path to it is nice.

My sis, our Dame, is the highest level so far, I think. She was questing with that asshole but now she's back at her own land rescuing lizards with our Heir of Flow. Those two are so freaking OP, you have no idea. O.O I think she's almost ready to preform the Knell, actually. She'd be first of us, if so, though I suspect the rest of us won't be far behind. Esp if I keep leveling at this rate (seriously, the knight class is SICK broken, you guys).


Our Rogue of Rhyme is doing some sort of puzzle thing ATM, but he's talking about teaming up with little bro when he's done. He thinks they'd be able to work out some awesome combos. Probably sis and douche will have reconciled by then anyway. Unrelated, but can I just say how much I love that MM just hangs out with little bro like that? We've been friends since before little bro was born, and just, ever since bro was a baby he's pretty much idolized MM. It's freaking adorable. I want to squish them both. <>

[apianAnchorite]

Have just realized that little bro is totally our partyleader. Kid is freaking 11, SIX YEARS younger than the next youngest, and he's totally got all five of us wrapped around his fingers. It's sort of amazing.

Sis and I were fighting, today, about exactly what you'd expect (Doucheface threw a fit about her leveling too fast and she actually stopped doing quests. I seriously could not even). And he just sort of popped up halfway in between us where we were damn near screaming at each other and started shouting the lyrics to "Sexy and I know it" which. If you've never heard a skinny ass child blaring that song out, OFF KEY, and doing the wiggle, well. I hate you and would like to trade you eyes, actually. But also it's really freaking hard to argue around that. I just. What?

And while we were doing a quadruple facepalm combo, he started talking about this three-person dungeon he found on his land and before I knew what was what I hear myself being all, "No, that sounds awesome! Of course we want to go do a dungeon with you, only...What? Right, yes. Right now, sure."

/SO MANY FACEPALMS

[apianAnchorite]

I learned the song of my land! It's so beautiful, seriously; there was this little floaty guy, like a land familiar except bigger? And I turned in my quest and he started to sing, and while he did all these other little land familiars started spawning around him doing this little fluttery dancy thing and just. Guh, such an awesome event, probably the most beautiful I've seen in a game yet. And the song itself is just. It's like those tuneless little songs you hum to yourself as a little kid, the kind that just go on and on and kind of breaks your heart except in a quiet little way? alksjggh So thrilled.

Now to figure out the promontory.

[apianAnchorite]

So, uh. Apparently, some confirmation that yeah we probably are in a scratched session. Yay go us? We're /probably/ not going to die an entirely senseless death from an inherently unwinnable session? Apparently, that miserable assmunch has been chatting--ever since middle-school, no less--with some kid who says he's his dad. Not that he ever bothered to, you know, FUCKING TELL SOMEONE.goddamned cagy mist bastard Our Prince of Mind threw the most eloquent shitfit I have ever had the pleasure of watching when she found out. It was sort of terrifying, actually.

Long story short, though, she thinks it's likely we'll get our extra players fairly early in our own session, and for that reason everyone needs to level as hardcore as they can. We had been doing rep quests with her bird-dudes when this came up, which you know? I really like. It was really freaking nice to get to just do little things to make people happy for a while. But no, apparently land rep is lower priority right now and we need to go back to focusing on killing people instead.

On the upside, she and I worked out the sweetest attack ever. It's almost like some sort of puppet thing? Like--ok, so part of what makes her so crazy good with her recurve is that she ALWAYS just KNOWS where the target is going to be. Even if they're super spastic like the little imps, she doesn't even aim for where they are or along their path of movement, instead she'll be aiming like four feet behind them and I'll be all "...but, they're going that way?" and she'll just shoot and at the last minute the little guys will do their little teleport-hop thing and bam you're out. Typically, I just stand next to her and smack anything that gets close enough, let them come to me.

This time, we're getting ready to pull, and I see her adjust her little head-mic thing, and all of the sudden in my ear I hear, "close your eyes." Which. Uh. ...Okay? So I do, and for a minute all I can hear is the hum of her bow being drawn and the slow breath she gives out right before releasing, and then there's that little static-thrum the imps make when they move and her quiet, calm voice telling me "30 degrees." I turn a little left and out goes the staff, and sure enough there's a little guy right there, I can feel the crunch as his skull breaks and smell the ozone-sweet of the grist. And before I've even finished the blow, she's telling me "270, up a little" and again, bam. Pretty soon I'm moving without thought, without hesitation, fighting faster and harder than I've EVER done and the grist-smell is so thick it's hard to breathe. At one point, I opened my eyes--she gasped a little, surprised I think, but it startled me into paying attention--and I swear we almost died. There had to have been at least a hundred of the medium-sized fuckers, I think she must have walked us into an Atomic Ebonpyre or something, and I could feel the pluck expending for that [come to me] bullshit pull ability even though I didn't cast it. She was just standing calmly at my shoulder except that, since I was gawping around and not fighting everything was FAST going to shit and just... Again, that soft calm voice in my ear. "Close your eyes."

I think we cleared the whole zone. I really do.

Of course, after, when we crashed in one of my consort villages nearby, she tells me, "You know, now we have to split up." And, I mean. I did know. Everyone always says it's Stars job to show up, make sure you don't want them to leave, and then ollie out. They never mention what the stars-player wants. Can't be helped though. Of course we end up finishing our UU the night after I finally work up the courage to kiss her. Of COURSE. Fuck this game, so seriously.

Anyway, past-me apparently thought it would be a really good idea to sign up to level with Mr. Fuckhead next. Because sie has such fucking excellent ideas, omg guys lets play this super fun game. Fuck that kid so hard. I showed up on his land--because hell if he's coming to mine, nuh-uh--and we just kind of stared at each other for a minute and then looked away and started killing mobs. This is so freaking doomed. And I got a whole lecture via email--EMAIL--from my sister before porting over about how I shouldn't be mean to him. Blargh. BLARGH.

[apianAnchorite]

Did some questing with the Page for a while. We're doing pretty well on climbing our echeladders, though I'm worrying that we're bypassing too many of the sidequests. It's. I think the worst part of actually traveling and working with this guy--who kept pretending to be me and fighting with my moves, which is just. YOU'RE NOT ME. YOU'RE AN ASS, get it right--is that he's actually a pretty decent guy. Like, he's pretty cool when he's not trying actively to be a complete asshole.

Last night, we'd been doing some quests on my land to find the promontory (which we did because I am the fucking GODKING of my land, bbs! And also my consorts love me a lot) and we were crashed in one of the villages, sitting around a bonfire with some of my rabbit-dudes. We were both tired as fuck, and we're just chillin. Like, we'll never be bros, but we weren't fighting or anything and you know how relaxed you get when you haven't slept right in nights and you work yourself to exhaustion every day. He offered me a smoke, and I took it even though I don't usually. So that's when I look over at him and just ask why he's gotta be such an asshole to my sister all the time. Do you know what he said to me?

"I just like her to be afraid of me. I feel powerful, and like she'll never be able to leave me. I'd kill her if she tried and she knows it."

I just. WHAT? IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS FUCKING GAME, we've got imps all up our asses 24-7, we're racing a ticking countdown none of us can even SEE, and you're casually telling me that you're going to MURDER my SISTER? Over bullshit self-aggrandizing wankery?

I broke our UU. I had to. Otherwise I was going to bury him. I still might if I'm ever left alone with him again. JFC. HOW DO YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT???

That aside, I went up to the promontory and issued the challenge today. Attar Samain is like a sphinx that was part antelope instead of part eagle, and yeah. Just as much of a raging asshole as I'd been lead to believe. Because that is the refrain of Act One Scene FUCK YOU I seem to be slogging through here. Bloo bloo I want my bff. Seriously. I would give so much to be curled up on a couch back home with our rogue and a pair of 360 controllers, you have no idea. FML

Ishtar has been keeping Sis on her goddamned toes. I guess there's some sort of huge fissure that opened up right down the middle of it and a bunch of her consorts died and she's trying to build them bridges or something. Our Prince has gone over to the Land of Shards and Heat to help her out. Apparently, she's been talking to those people from the other session too, so hopefully she'll work something out.

Bro and my BFF are still questing together. Apparently they worked out some sort of totally sick combo attack, but I didn't get a chance to talk much. Will ask about it next time we talk and post here about them being awesome. For now, crashing.

[apianAnchorite]

No fuck it. If that guy had a fatal "accident" the world would be measurably a better place. He's easily as much my enemy as the black king, and he needs to be put down like a rabid animal.

[stanzicApparati]

Talk to your Mind player, apianc. You can still talk with her, even if you've reached the end of your UU.

That said, avoid PKing. He is unpleasant and terrible and perhaps the world would be better without him. But his blood is not worth spilling over your hands. Keep that in mind.

((Edited to fix a broken HTML tag))

[apianAnchorite]

That's probably true. What I'd REALLY like to do is hole up with my consorts and help them sort out this epic douchbaggery on my land. Actually do something helpful and clean for a while instead of...this. But then the leveling would slow down and apparently we can' afford that.

I think I'll see if broleader and bff want a third player.

[apianAnchorite]

Welp.

Dreamself is dead. Apparently Jack Noir shanked the black king, which was, according to the carapaces, a pretty neat job all around, quick, quiet. I don't know what scepter-wraiths do in most sessions, but Jack seemed mostly to try to pull the castle down around himself and the BQ tongue-first. Dreamself thought this was really funny, and sort of shipped it, until the miles came out. No idea what JN and the BQ did after that, as was busy choking on my own blood. I'm not actually certain that Derse is even still there anymore. Our Prince's dreamself is dead, and no one can even find our Page right now.

The two of them as real-selves were trying to figure out what was going on with those other players. I seriously do not understand this situation at all, and some of this is probably wrong, but I THINK the situation comes down to:

1)The other players, because who knows why, ended up with an unwinnable session and scratched.

2)Either that's just not survivable at all or they think it is? I thought I heard about people here surviving it. But anyway, they all died.

3)But somehow they're also not-dead? I guess one-or-more of them was pretty heavily corrupted, something something I'm not sure, curling up in whatever is between universes with the horror-terrors. No idea if they are still corrupted or what, but the Prince at least was kinda worrying about it.

4)Somehow we're supposed to fix everything they fucked up, even though we have no idea what the hell is going on even.[/color]

So, basically what I'm saying is that our session has completely gone to shit. And I?

I do not care.

While I'm off getting my mass-murder on for sick bullshit leveling, my Denizen is completely wrecking my world and I'm not fixing it. "Get to it later," they told me. "It'll be fine, just focus." After I let that self-satisfied asshole open up a fissure right under one of their towns, my consorts are so hostile I'm not welcome with them anymore. This is my land, I'm supposed to protect it and I'm not.

My sister has lost an eye and I don't even know how because she isn't talking to me. My brother is pretty much spam-casting [Rock the Heist] and [One More Time] on himself and hasn't stopped killing things for like three days straight almost now. He threatened to cut the last person who suggested he stop, which is almost more worrisome because he's always been really sweet and gentle. The Page is MIA[/color]. The Prince has her hands full trying to keep all of us ridiculous fucks from self-destructing while also maybe not completely losing at everything ever (and getting increasingly snarly about NEEDING TO KNOW ALL THE VARIABLES in a way that's frankly getting scary). Our Rogue might as well have the DERP for how much anything affects him (seriously you'd think he was breath) and he almost died yesterday trying to work out a trade with his denizen about the other session's players. All our lands are fucked (why did we even wake our denizens if we weren't going to do the quests?). And we're just pretty much fucked. I don't know who ever thought we could do this. We can't. It's time to accept it.

I am going to sit here curled up against my bff's chest in my homefree and we are going to trade [ice cream in the veins] and [there are five lights] until we die. The battle and the new universe and this game can all go to hell.

AA out.