This Isht is Cray

[wavebreakGladiator]

Okay figure I'll keep a log here for once simply because I have this distinct feeling this session is going to be a complete clusterfuck and I might need people's advice so maybe ya'll can weigh in here rather than me spam constantly with my panicked FUCK LOOK WHAT THESE KIDS DID NOW posts
Okay, so what we got so far:

Players in this session include me as Muse of Time, and three preteens who I swear are trying to make me and their guardians have a damn heart attack.

Witch of Doom - kid named Matt with the handle spectralIllustrator. Seems like an alright kid, if he'd just you know listen to the Vet instead of blocking me on and off and wandering off as;dfklgsdfg. Not at all pleased with being the Witch. Insisting we all call him a wizard instead.
Page of Space - brat named Paige with the handle trivialTestimony. Yes really. Her name is Paige and she is the page. Got the other half of the misgendered title stick. Leader of the pack and making my task of keeping them alive really goddamn difficult everytime she tells the others to ignore the "creepy adult".
Ward of Stars - kid named Daniel with the handle meatyPopsicle. I like this kid. Reminds me of a friend from my first session. His Pop somehow beat him through his second gate and into my land and got lost, so the second Dannyboy gets here we're going guardianhunting.

Prototypings:
Me- a banana sandwich and a picture of Emeril Lagasse. Yes. My sprite is annoying but makes me awesome food. Only effect on enemies I've noticed is that they smell terrible if they're in a sunny area too long. Guess it's the mayo
Witch - Okay this dude lost a lot of points with me for this. Not only did he tear out a page from a book (!!!! all my rage) to prototype but it was a Dr. Seuss book.
Specifically the page with "Clark" in One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish. Some of the underlings leak ichor. Fuck. Also they have huge teeth that make for some nasty bites and really long tentacly fingers. arghhhhhh
Second prototyping was an artist's doll thing
Page- a rose and a drawing of some anime character she likes? Underlings that have thorny tentacle/vine whip arms yay.
Ward - picture of a bird and an anime figure that I am shocked a kid this young was allowed to buy wow. Flying enemies but that's not too hard to handle.

The kids luckily have their guardians still around for now so the corruption leaking going on can be managed a little with hugs pretty easy for them.
I gotta be careful until I can kidnap one of them or their parent to hug the shit out of. Which is going to be a bit because of the Page's interference. Damnit you brat I don't want to be hugging you guys anymore than you want me hugging you I am aware it is slightly creepy but fuck you

Luckily so far the leaky ichor problem hasn't seemed to damage anything yet.

Fuck I need an aspirin

[stanzicApparati]

Okay, the corruption is problematic (as always), but I'd be more worried about the artist's doll prototyping. A previous session of unsaug's tossed one of those in and they later ended up with a Noirjacking where the bastard could stick his hands back on, preventing them from just blowing him up by removing the rings that way.

But that was one of those 'super-extended, moves-just-like-real-people' things, so it might not be that bad for you guys.

Also, have you tried getting any of them to read the guide? Might help some.

[wavebreakGladiator]

Yeah i saw about that. Lucky for us it was a post-entry prototyping so we should be alright on that.

I keep trying but oh my god these kids. These kids. They are still in the mindset this is all just a happy game and their grand leader wants to do a ~blind run~. I finally just sent copies to their guardians, who are much more willing to believe me and might be able to get their kids to listen to them.
Why can't these kids be normal and prefer listening to the cool older chick who is trying to bribe them with neat weapons instead of their parents huh

[wavebreakGladiator]

May I just say that Dannyboy's Pop is fucking awesome? Finding Nel wasn't hard, just took a while.
We just had to follow the trail of grist he left behind that stretched from the dwelling spire to the other side of the freaking land my lord. I had to be real careful to keep dannyboy on a pretty narrow path while we were collecting it all though since the dude was apparently skirting atomik ebonpyres goddamn.
He also gives pretty bitchin bear hugs I am okay with getting my hugs from this dude for as long as he's still around and/or until the kids stop being weird about it.

Speaking of which, Nel gave Dannyboy a verbal thrashing and now he seems to be a little more willing to listen to me. He is also pissed off at me for getting him in trouble with his dad, but I figure he'll get over that soon enough.
Going to finish helping him get his bearings with a few more quests, and then hop through to the page's land. Nel of course is sticking around with him, and from the path of destruction he left in his wake going solo (seriously the hell is this guy), I think I can be pretty sure dannyboy is going to be safe for now.

Lord give the strength to deal with the page.

And man, I just noticed, but it sure seems like this session is moving a lot slower than my last two. Can't say it's not welcome, as long as it doesn't drag out for two years like the first one.

[wavebreakGladiator]

Log 3

[[Modified the title to be something more appropriate for this crazy business.]]
The Page's mama is also awesome.
Joce is making things SO much easier. Also she made me cookies. But she also yelled at me for yelling at her kid so that was not as awesome. She also said that the kids being so fucking weird with me involves issues that she wasn't willing to tell me herself, but that's pretty much made them a "We three are the only ones we can trust" kind of sitch? Eh. I'll probably find out eventually.
We also had a brief talk about the timeline doomed thing. This lady is kind of incredible she just shrugged and asked me for more guides for Page. Though I think she may be a non-doomed non-player, considering I won't need to be involved in the ectobiology shenanigans, which leaves us down a chick in that mess. I'll have to see about getting future me to let me in on that or something idk
What even happens with non-players after a session's over anyway? Do they become players in the next session or something? Eh
It looks like I might be spending a little longer than planned here unless I get up to some time shenanigans but man I hate abusing the time clone thing. Joce is breathing down Page's neck making sure the girl is actually reading the guides. I've been running around looking for better starting areas for Page and making maps while her mama's got her on lockdown in the dwelling spire and reading her little heart away until she gets it in her head that no, just because it's right next to her house doesn't mean all the enemies are going to be weak enough for her to grind in an atomyk ebonpyre goddamnit why the fuck is that even there it really fucking shouldn't be and what is it with our lands and all the AE's? It's going to make later grinding easier but fuuuck is it a nightmare right now. I'd blame denizens if it weren't for this being a thing on ALL FOUR lands
Which. Yeah. Makes maps really goddamn important. I am going to "hide" them in chests around her dwelling spire and the nearest consort villages so she'll think they're game things because that's probably the only way she'll accept them without her mama forcing her too and I seriously need to get her to do SOME things my way without Joce involved.
I am going to weave an epicly long fucking starting period for her. Can I ask her consorts if they have quests for her? Not accept them for her of course, just find out what consorts are doing what so I can direct her towards areas where she should have some quests that aren't all mind-numbingly boring but aren't going to send her passing directly into another AE. I should probably know this by now but I've never had to ask someone else's consorts for their quests.
I might maybe leave notes like I'm a goddamn quest giver myself so she'll feel a little more incentive for following my damn maps. I will write her a goddamn plot for this shit if I have to.
I might even make her a nice fancy reward to find when she finishes each area.
Also I finally made all the kids install gristtorrent because really with all this running around I've been/will be doing I might as well share.

Edit:Yo chiming in from 15 hours and 43 minutes in the future, past me get your ass moving on that mapquesting shit. Fuck that "boohoo timeclones" noise, suck it up bitch. You'll be seeing me, and future us from 20 days 8 hours and 43 minutes ahead, in exactly 20 minutes and 23 seconds, we're getting this shit done triple time you ass. Now get your ass to that consort village with the ludicrously large shroom out front

EDIT 2: Really? You couldn't pester me? This is note for me further into the future to remember to KEEP THIS SHIT OFF THE FORUMS

[wavebreakGladiator]

Oh for fuck's sake they were even already in the present when they made that edit god fucking damnit it. Why am I such an asshole
No one is allowed to answer that
Alright yeah we're working on mapping out the land now should be done in a day or two if a few more of me show up and as long as we don't run into too many problems.
Also wow shit I'm dumb I just realized I can hug myself. Eh. I like Nel's hugs better

[wavebreakGladiator]

The land is now mapped. Treasure chests have been planted.
I am going to stand by to make sure that Madame Douche actually opens the first few.
Damnit i just realized I have to do this for the other two now to make it believable.
SIGH

[wavebreakGladiator]

Whoop been a lil busy last few weeks forgot about updatin this thing. Also im too lazy busy ta type shit out so im usin the headset thing(but apparently not ta actually say the strike out codes and paranthesize shit.) Uh yeah anyway spellins gonna be fucked ta hell i bet im not sorry

Aight so settin up the mapquesting shit was a fuckin success score one fur me sept I can't really take olive the credit fur that since mama Jos gettin Page to actually read the damn guides was what got her to do the things. Somehow she saw right through my brilliant plan. WELP. It worked out though, I think she preferred ta not jus have it handed to er. Other two seem to be of the same opinion I guess. Eh, I suppose breathin down their necks and trying ta hold their hands the whole way wassin the best coursa action

Also got to the roota Page's issues with me? I guess. Not really gonna get inta sayin exactly what it was, since it's er an Spec's business and not really mine ta announce ta strangers on a forum. But we all hadda nice lil meetin and shit and I think we got summa the wrinkles ironed out

I kinda like the brat now that we're sorta cool with each other

Edit: Jesus christ that spellins fuckin terrible. Too bad im too lazy ta fix it