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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 5, 2017 9:28:04 GMT -5
Side 1 Act 5: Valkyries to War {bgm - Armor Blitz Battle Theme}Look. I know I promised the fairies some tanks, but World War II ended in 1945, not 1845. Who delivered all these tsukumogami here? And why do they not only deny their race, but also claim they were recently manufactured in the Outside world? Are these tank girls already insane? Oh god dammit. Here we go again, more guys we need to kill. TAKE OFF EVERY ‘ZIG’! Oh fuck no. No no no no NO! Now they've brainwashed their breeding slaves into mindless, nude killing machines and I cannot unsee how they did it! That factory needs to be shut the FUCK down ASAP. I'm sorry Yuuka, but at this point, death is a better mercy than trying to fix you, given all that has happened to you. I use this spellcard with a heavy heart, for its intended purpose is to avenge the death of a shrine maiden. I really hope that this isn't really you. But right now, you need to go. Wasp Sign 「Parasite Shot」
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 5, 2017 9:34:35 GMT -5
{bgm - Nyanko Daisensou (Iriomote - Empire of Cats)}Yes, that was a direct violation of the Spellcard Rules. I made a spellcard for the specific purpose of sending some great evil's sorry ass straight to the Sanzu River. On purpose. I actually had to enter that negative space wedgie above the SDM to fine-tune it. Nobody but the monsters in that astral tear were killed in the development of this spellcard. No, I know that the miko is going to exterminate me for this, but if she dies on the job, then someone pretty much has to institute Mugenri law in order to strongarm the youkai into playing nice during the transitional period. Yes, making that spellcard was a very bad idea in hindsight. Yes, I deserve wh- AAAAAUGH!
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 5, 2017 9:37:25 GMT -5
Side 2 Act 5: Backup Arrives {bgm}lD: Wait, just who are you? Those fairies basically just showed up out of nowhere and started shooting at the enemy.Nefer: The name's Nefer. Nefer Nightbug, leader of the… Uhh… Hopeless Situation Warriors of… the Presbyterian Mosque. Yeah, that'd be the best name for them. lD: So... There were actually that many Muslims here?Nefer: Nah, only five. The rest are either stragglers from the SDM, practitioners of Shinto, or Elfin Mint. Besides, they're only dressed that way to mess with the enemy's head: whoever heard of Muslim extremists armed with muskets from the American Civil War and freaking Tommy guns? And, uh, why are all the nekomata dressed up as mariachi? lD: I dunno.cU: Well, I suppose I'm in this to win this.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 7, 2017 13:12:58 GMT -5
Side 3 Act 5: MOTHER EARTH (In Which Demons Run When A Good Girl Goes To War) (And we finally press X to wage war) Hoopa: Alice. WAKE UP. WAKE THE FUCK UP. WAKE. UP. Hoopa: grrrrr… *punch* WAKE UP! Alice: owww… wrstfargle… that… Hoopa? Have you come to save me? Hoopa: Yes dammit I'm here to bust you out of here and save Nebby too Alice: FUCK! I KNEW I should have told Lillie to stay in the wilderness! I TOLD her to stay with Greninja! How'd they get seperated? Hoopa: She came to tell you the news.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 7, 2017 13:13:20 GMT -5
Hoopa: Now come on! Time’s a-tickin’, they're doing unethical experimentation on Lillie, and Nebby’s gonna die if we don't do things.
Alice: Shit. Hoopa, they know sealing magic. Do something about it.
Hoopa: Stand back. I'm going to try TRAINS.
Alice: wait, no-
*KLONG*
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 7, 2017 13:15:33 GMT -5
{bgm}Alice: PRESIDENT LUSAMINE, IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT YOU ARE THE SICKEST OF FUCKS. AS A DESCENDANT OF ARCEUS, I AM AN OFFICIAL MOUTHPIECE FOR THE YAMAXANADU, OR WHATEVER THE LOCAL EQUIVALENT IS. Lusamine: Well, um. I suppose you mean Yvetal, you abomination? Alice: WHAT YOU SAY Lusamine: Well duh, you uneducated yōkai scum! You're no better than you mo- Alice: UP. SHUT. YOU'RE DOING THE SAME THING TO YOUR OWN DAUGHTER. DO YOU REALIZE JUST HOW MANY OF THOSE THINGS I HAD TO CUT? Lusamine: Wait, Expansion has those too? Uhh… I. Don't have a comeback to that. Alice: NOT TO MENTION YOU YOURSELF ARE A HOST TO A UB-01. Alice: THE CHARGES LEVELED AGAINST YOU ARE: 4,583 COUNTS OF POKÈMON ABUSE; 21 COUNTS OF MURDER; 362 COUNTS OF BRAINWASHING; TWO ONGOING CHILD ABUSE CASES; 78,409 CASES OF OBSTRUCTING JUSTICE; 749,998 COUNTS OF ASSAULT ON AN INTERNATIONAL POLICE OFFICER; NUMEROUS COUNTS OF SCIENTIFIC MISCONDUCT; TORTURE OF A LEGENDARY; 15 COUNTS OF ARSON; AND A SINGLE INSTANCE OF JAYWALKING. Lusamine: … what. Just… what. I'm not going to put up with this. Fuck you, fuck your eye, fuck your spleen, fuck your brain, and fuck the arse you rode in on.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 7, 2017 13:17:08 GMT -5
Side 1 Act 6: Unite SynchronizationOwww, fuck… really shouldn't have pulled that stunt… oof. Hey, is that Roxas? Good timing! I could use someone to team up with to do things with today. Nefer: Yo, Roxas, Youmu, Sora, what's up? I've just… casually broken the Spellcard Rules, nothing major, jus - AKPTH! Youmu: what. I don't want to know who or how.Roxas: Demo, what's our next course of action?Demo: hmm, let's see. In two days, the chance of cataclysmic reactor overload raises to 45%, with it becoming a certainty by the end of day three (based on the current rate of Hume sacrifice and the current modified gestation length of the captured females.) There is a 22% chance that at least one of us will die, a 47.85904% chance that I am the sole survivor in such a case, a percentage statistically indistinguishable from 100 that the exploding reactor completely levels Youkai Mountain an 89.4720552 repeating percent chance that the reactor actually explodes if we shut it down, a ten percent chance that energy to the factory is instantly cut, and a 100% chance the Moriya Shrine gets knocked down regardless of reactor status or dead party members. There is also a zero percent chance that we don't not encounter the huge mass of Unversed entering the facility. I assume we swoop in, eliminate the outsiders, and then take shifts trying to remove the Unversed and shut down the reactor?
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 7, 2017 13:18:12 GMT -5
{bgm - Sinister Shadows}Nefer: (distantly, muffled by walls) I am a dorf, and I'm digging a hole… Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole… Roxas: Where'd that Nightbug guy go? Anyone seen him?Youmu: Nope. Also, those blast doors are loose and -Nefer: Okay, the chute they've been using is plugged and now I'll have to fix that door - OW OW DAMN DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING WAAA *bonk* wrstfargle.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 7, 2017 13:19:42 GMT -5
Side 2 Act 6: Seven-FourcU: Okay, looks like the calvary showed up just in time for that idiot Nefer to do something really stupid. Smooth move there, bub. Seems like his wife's in charge of the forces now, but just doing a bum rush isn't gonna get us anywhere against that factory factory factory.{bgm - Nyanko Daisensou (Iriomote - Into the Future)}cU: Elfin Mint, don't look at me like that. That factory produces factories that produce different factories that I speculate are repeatedly impregnating and forcibly inducing labor in his captives. I am completely immune because I have this armor, and they're armed with tiny little guns that can't hurt me. Oh, hey there Cirno, mind holding the rear?
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 7, 2017 13:22:48 GMT -5
Side 3 ACT 6: CORE ENFORCER (In Which We Defeat The League, Give The Title To Some Random Kid, Finish Two Wars And Get Caught In Another) (And then, we use all our Pokèmon to blow things up… because we press X to wage war.) Finally. I have finally ditched that fool Hau and reached Poni Island (which is strangely bereft of ponies.) I've been grinding this Vulpix on the things I fish up for a while now. It's kinda overwhelming to be back after being out of it for so long.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 7, 2017 13:23:29 GMT -5
“guzma is a cool guy and doesnt afraid of anything”... but that thing scares him.
And, to be honest… It scares me too. The first Extra Beast, callsign Jellyfish Princess. It was pulling all the strings from the start. Lusamine is its mate, and Lillie is likely its child. And to make matters worse, I don't know the biomechanics behind it. Is it sperm-based? A parasitic pregnancy? Or does it implant its eggs slash young into the womb?
ohshit it's attacking me DAMN GO AWAY.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 7, 2017 13:24:07 GMT -5
After the League…
Nebby… thank you. Your attack has saved Lillie and myself, severely weakened EB01, and given me the chance to finish Lusamine off for all her crimes. YES. ALL MY YES.
Lusamine doesn't realize it yet, but by the time Guzma brings her to Kanto, the background Randomizer radiation will kill her. Didn't know Ash’s Greninja was a master of oddly specific poisons.
Hoopa Yakumo, I am starting to get really really annoyed with your fragility. If someone goes down, it's either you, Sirena, or one of the Ice-types.
Ducideye, can I just call you Robin? No? What do you want to be called, then? You want to be called… okay how am I supposed to pronounce that? Uuuuuuuu…
Sirena, you've been there to back me up all this time, so… Back at the gardens, why didn't you save me? You say you got in an argument with the other Water-types?
Zygarde. You are good dog best friend. Good snaek best friend. You're no longer The Load. much bulk, very stronk. Yay!
Hisoutensoku, you are the best youkai sandcastle a gal like me could ever have.
You guys, off in the back. Yes, you guys: Ran; Whiterock; Toxa; Sala; Trawler; Eater; Ronda. My apologies, I was juggling moves and the team.
Now, to address all the wonderful people I've met.
Lillie, please play the metagame: when you reach Kanto, pick the grass starter.
Hau, if I flash you will you finally realize that Faba was entirely correct in what he said about me not being human? Because between myself and my Greninja, the entire region has been technically conquered by two Pokémon, and it's kinda ambiguous as to if I count as one of them anymore.
Professor, can I have your mask? The Aether Grunts are still searching for me.
NO MY OFFER TO SHOW OFF MY BUSOM IS NOT FOR YOU, CAMERAMAN… Fuck. Can't even get a spot on TV without being harassed by a Grunt. Hoopa, relocate the eyesore.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 7, 2017 13:25:24 GMT -5
Later that night…
mmm… can't sleep. I've been staring out my window writing my memoirs and plotting a course of action. That kid looks like he'll be a good Champion. The Tapu is resting, and… …
fuckDAMMit. NEBBY STAY IN THE BALL
NEBBY NO
NEBBY STAY IN THE FUCKING BALL. STAY. STAAAAY. GOOD. Good Nebby OH GOD WHY
Nebby, how the hell. You - no, Nebby don't! Why… Why are you so nimble? Nebby STOP DON'T NO PLEASE GAH Woodloodleap dop dip dip deedlie doo! *LASS SCAMPER*
Dammit Nebby if I have to shove your Premier Ball up my own rectum I fucking will do so! Curb those instincts this moment! What's that you say, there's another crack in the sky… woah shit, that's an armada pouring through. Holy shit. Also, ow, that hurts to read aaaaaAAAAAA
EB01 is leading an invasion! And it hurts to listen to it… I've got these bananas, but I don't think they'd protect me from tentacles all that well. Well, when in trouble, hide in Toxapex! Hup!
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 7, 2017 13:26:18 GMT -5
Looker, I need your help. Get your boss, because we need all the help we can get: those Ultra Beasts are invading and they brought their leaders with them. First we need to take out Jellyfish Princess before it screws everything up, and then we can round up the other Beasts before they cause too much havoc.
Alice: Hoopa, situation please. Tapu Koko: Mistress, I have detected Jellyfish Princess headed in our direction from the south. I also detect an unknown person within two miles south of us at such a speed that she will be overtaken by EB01 before she gets within ten paces of the hotel door. Hoopa: Get the gun. I've got ammo. Alice: Alright.
“Line ‘em up and knock ‘em down…”
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Apr 7, 2017 13:27:26 GMT -5
Okay, glad that's done. Nebby, you're a great partner and tank. You wanna split the million, or…? No? Okay then. Say, would you like to go to the fancy clothing store from Kalos or do we spend it on the resort? Uh, Nebby. Do you feel this… mental buzzing noise? It's starting to get on my nerves… Okay, now it's just starting to OW OW OW. OH GOD IT'S MORE PAINFUL TO FEEL THAN EB01’S CHATTER. WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN
If… If I can track this crippling noise back to its source and not get an aneurysm from it, I can stop it if I shove it in a Beast Ball. I think. Maybe.I don't really know if that's how it works.
Owwww… Why does it hurt so? And what the hell is it saying? I can't make it out behind the deafening static buzz. Perhaps if I just clench my third eye shut AAH FUCK DAMN THAT HURTS. That just made it far worse. It's like it was staring straight into my - *KLONG*
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