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Post by horrorTerror on Jun 25, 2015 13:41:23 GMT -5
Why not?
First, MAJOR DEUDLY-DEADLY SUPER-WARNING OF WARNINGNESS: You are NOT supposed to actually alchemize/prototype/do/try these things in your session, or else you and your session will permaDIE-in-alpha in the most brutal, torturous, and painful way possible, and then all the Others in the Furthest Ring will go to the dreambubbles and tentacleslap you, then have gentlemanMannerism herself show up and lecture your brains out to your double-death. Take this as if it were purple prose of highest priority, and don't be an idiot. You're likely enough to die as it is.
With that over with to ensure that no idiocy will happen as a safety disclaimer and mechanism, here's the game itself. Someone posts a situation in which a Sburb session has become an absolutely lethal thermonuclear clusterfuck of a disaster (i.e. problematic cataclysms, entry shenanigans over-shenanigans'd, terrible prototypings, glitches out the wazoo, bad alchemy ideas, regalia items have gone wraith, player killer, paradox space got ripped a new one and rainbow spacetime holes are eating your session into the extradimensional cosmic superstring strata, mass corruption, early decay, Others and/or Angels breaking in and wrecking your shit, etc.) and what resources are available to try and fix it.
Then do MORE terrible disastrous things in order to fix it, of course! You could also do non-disastrous things with the resources available and potentially available but it's more 'fun' to stack disasters without having to actually experience them.
This basically is the Emergency Situations board without actually putting people in emergencies, as well as ones they wouldn't be normally alive to conclude failure.
Each session situation is considered a round. A round concludes when the situation has been rendered survivable and the Ultimate Reward's alternative replay option is possible with no unusual difficulty/achieved, or if the session has totally burned when everyone (even player followers) is dead or safely evacuated someone else.
It is considered a total success if everyone is alive and relatively not permanently damaged and the reward obtained, a non-total success if it's winnable/won but there are unwanted permadeaths or other problems or if we have to evacuate because a universe is not workable but nobody permadied, a tie if there are permadeaths and the session is crashed and evacuated, a non-total loss if every player or other could-survive person permadies but the universe is still established somehow, and a total loss if the session is a failure and (rocks fall) everyone permadies.
Anyone want me to try this?
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Jun 26, 2015 8:21:06 GMT -5
Go right on ahead!
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Post by horrorTerror on Jun 26, 2015 13:22:48 GMT -5
Let's start with a simple one.
The session's prototypings consist of a flaming torch, a puddle of oil, a flamethrower, an incendiary bomb, a collection of things that cause heating and burning compiled into one pile and dumped into the sprite who accepted all of it at once and a clown, a bunch of matches, a cookalizer, and a ceiling fan. This would already be a problem because clowns but even more than usual the entire session is now on fire, because some of the most common imp types are flammable and the game did not have precautions for this. And several land descriptors are flammable. 8 player session. Everyone entered fine and sprites have done all they needed to do really fast to avoid causing more fire than necessary. The session is practically flow-aspected at this point.
Our current resources are
1. The Maid of Space on the Land of Forests and Rain (and Frogs), denizen Hequet, uses sprayerkind and array modus. Her Land is the only one not entirely on fire because of the constant rain and accompaniment flooding. Everyone is quartered inside her soggy house and the Magicant because she had a fire extinguisher pile sitting in her strife specibus and can deal with any fires that break out throughout the dwelling spire. Her sprite was oilgrandmasprite, who has handed off the pendant and departed for wherever sprites go to die that isn't the battlefield because that is too busy being on fire to help. Consorts are adorable iguanas with a passion for firefighting being weirdly common and thus might be able to help. Quest-functional due to not being excessively on fire, though there are several major fires visible from orbit, mostly in dungeon sites and ebonpyres with no villages and weather pattern differences. Prospit dreamer.
2. Her server the Bard of Rhyme, of the Land of Ice and Fire, denizen having a mental breakdown and calling herself Cadenza, uses bladekind and bottle modus. Ex-sprite firebombcatsprite, also left. Consorts are nakodiles, who usually fare better than other consorts on lands with fire titles and thus the Land might be salvageable. Possibly quest-functional simply because it's SUPPOSED to be on fire all the time, but the Denizen has...problems. Derse dreamer.
3. His server the Knight of Time, of the Land of Squids and Heat, denizen something hard to pronounce and probably corrupted, uses gunkind and pictionary modus. Ex-sprite torchbearsprite, departed leaving pendant in Knight's hands. The consorts are fiery squids and the vast majority of the land is also fire squids or lava, so it is likely going to be mostly quest-functional except for the corrupt denizen since it's ALSO supposed to be on fire all the time. Prospit dreamer. Because of time shenanigans finished the ectobiology and ectobiolobabysitting already in the future in the past. Because.
4. His server the Witch of Heart, of the Land of Incineration and Passion, uses needlekind and that modus where you make hand positions with the string, denizen...Sekhmet/Hathor I think? She's a rarer denizen who is more aligned with the land and prone to more political feats of mass destruction than using physical strength for most denizen quests, like Hemera. She prototyped the pile of flammable stuff and a clown who was visiting at the time, who has also handed off the pendant and absconded. Passion is an absurdly flammable land descriptor so roughly half the land will be working because it's on fire and the other half not working because it's on fire. The overarching land plot is to stop the incinerators from burning the passion so it might sort itself out. Derse dreamer.
5. Her server the Sylph of Rain of the Land of Coal and Wood, denizen Lady Gaga (wtfhax), uses anomalykind and Miracle modus (um what she can pick up glitches and jpeg artifacts and hurt people with them?), had ceilingfanbirdsprite who has finished up what it needed to do. She is the rare healing aspect-applying assassin-y variant of Sylph, which is going to help with the burns everyone is going to be having (by patching them up with sheer unbridled insanity ofc) and dealing with the imps without creating chain reaction fires. Her land is virtually nonfunctional due to being a bunch of coal mine fires from self-destructing imps. Luckily, the Wood descriptor comes with a lot of rivers so some of the consort villages appear to have become boat-dwellers. Derse dreamer.
6. Her server the Prince of Law of the Land of Sand and Might. Yes, those are both in reference to the aspects. The aspects that stand for the exact opposite things. Denizen Ahriman, the prince uses spikeballkind (maces and flails basically) and bookkind, with a textbook modus that requires quick bapping of answers to questions abiout the item in order to retrieve it. The sand also stands for actual sand, which because of Might's water affiliation basically means the land is a bunch of abused beaches. Said beaches are partially glassed due to all the fire burning everything. Consorts are mostly on the waters at this point. Had flamethrowermoosesprite, who has gone. Prospit dreamer.
7. His server the Mage of Dreams of the Land of Explosives and Pumpkins. Denizen appears to have caught the DERP and consorts cannot figure out his name. Had cookalizerchefsprite. The land is full of spotaneously disappearing and appearing explosives and is basically a death trap of glitches. Uses moneykind (the buy-stuff-randomly-and-throw-it kind, not the kind where you weaponize actual valuables) and wallet modus. There is also an abnormal amount of pumpkin pie that is bombs appearing in random places and it is alleged this planet's unnamed derpy denizen is responsible by the vast majority of the session. Prospit dreamer.
8. His server the Smith of Flux on the Land of Dismay and Mayhem. Denizen is Vulcan/Hephaestus. Had matchesabstractioncannonsprite (that was conversationally a trainwreck made of rampant first guardians), uses spikesandlaserskind (smith alchemy preferences as a specibus, oh joy) and cannon modus (every object is fired out of a cannon at a thankfully usually pretty low velocity. Except when you eject it. Then it comes out really really fast.). Apparently emotions are quite flammable. Derse dreamer. Title is slightly bugged and appears to have a few Life abilities randomly scattered throughout the fluxy smithical stuff, so he's backup healer.
The Queens have removed their rings to avoid burning down the moons and have stored it on their person, but they are safely wearable provided that the carapace in question doesn't mind or actively wants everything else around them to burn down. Jack Noir apparently turned into a fire elemental and the BQ wisely said "ok fine you can avoid wearing the silly outfits of clowndom geez", so noirjacking seems to have been delayed while Jack Noir sets a bunch of carapaces on fire with his stabs, but he will likely go wraith or kill someone important soon. Since there are really only so many derivatives of "clowns and fire stuff and ceiling fans" aesthetically, it appears that because of an obscure script designed to prevent the queens from escaping binding by simply burning down their throne room and being allowed to leave then that only agents actually need to have any fire motifs about them and the carapaces at large have kept the fire down to a safe level. However, dangerous fires are common.
The vast majority of the battlefield is on fire but apparently ceiling fans buff regeneration in this particular version of Sburb (it is a glitch) so the kings should be able to proceed as normal. Also, the clown prototyped was a magical clown or something and now all the clown enemies are caster-types too.
While the ceiling fan regen buff appears to provide at least some of the underlings protection from self-incineration (as well as flight), the rest of the underlings are not so lucky and pretty much any enemy without a regen buff or a healing ability in its casting portfolio gets burned to death. Sburb has accommodated for this by basically making flying quickly-regenerating caster clowns the bread and butter imp underling since any other enemy type usually self-destructs explosively, resulting in a large number of explosions when an area is first focus-loaded until ceiling fans or clowns are common.
The first guardian appears to be an eyeless human, whose original we don't know. He's busy running about the session and spraying things with fire extinguishers for no reason and likely will not interfere negatively (unless you count the Maid of Space being saved from death by fire negative interference, which it's not), but he has access to time travel and according to the Time player has access to Veil alchemy equipment and the grist to use them.
The chief problems are 1. Everything is on fire 2. Delayed noirjacking with clowns probably needs to be solved 3. Multiple glitchy lands are on fire and that's stopping most questing 4. The battlefield is going to be rekt by the time we actually need it for the Reckoning and Genesis Frog hosting so we might need to fix that 5. EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE
What do? Any more info needed?
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Jun 27, 2015 7:47:21 GMT -5
Exile Jack, of course. Try to exile as many Carapacians as you can: you might want to also set up computer banks in the Maid's house to try to set up a mission control manned by Carapacians as well to monitor the fires.
You may want to get the more sane Denizens onto the same land, too. Sure, they may be a bunch of pompous bastards, but you want to get everything in one place.
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Post by horrorTerror on Jun 27, 2015 11:41:06 GMT -5
Jack and pretty much everyone who could be persuaded to leave is exiled on a flotilla of battleships from both moons, with important npcs who could be persuaded to follow relocated to the Maid's house as a form of mission control and fire monitoring station. This breaks several lunar quests but none are essential and unfinished so it should be fiiiiine. The Smith managed to alchemize some form of complex teleporter gate structure called a Hiveswap which should allow for mass evacuation of everybody else to the host world to escape session decay but it's obscenely painful for players for some weird reason and the host world is going to take years of toiling so everyone's pretty much decided screw-it-go-onto-next-session-we're-outta-here when they're done.
Hequet phones every denizen who is not broken.
Sekhmet/Hathor refuses to leave her land to wither (ok a kabillion contradictory lore sources right out there), Lady Gaga was ALREADY HERE because she can do the rainy misty spacey cheaty firstguardiany teleporty thingummy to escape the First Guardian's rampant spraying of fire extinguishers in her denizen palace and is now counter-trolling the derpizen (her nickname, not ours) supply of explosive pumpkin pies with implosive perfectly generic object cakes (now with even less spatiotemporal stability), Vulcan is throwing volcanos full of underlings around his land to make the problem worse, not better and thus is 2busy4us at the moment, and Ahriman refuses to leave his office to burn, having somehow managed to use the law to sentence it to fireproofness via obscenely powerful probability manipulation and open control of underling spawnrates, and he's not just a pompous bastard he's an open dick even to other denizens so it's probably best to leave him at home and not bother with him to avoid denizen fighting and-
Nevermind. Lady Gaga threw implosive PGO cakes (we can't call them liecakes because that would lead to confusion with Sand) at them until they relented because she wanted a badass fight scene to break out later, but with Hequet's denizenly shooshpap that might be unlikely at best and not just because Ahriman is actively reducing the odds of that possibility, Sekhmet/Hathor will be mostly Hathor, and Vulcan/Hephaestus is not best fighter.
The denizens who are not inoperable are all now crammed in a snake party with Hequet. Unfortunately, nobody but the Maid has knelled and because of Hequet's limited command of the Etiquette Monstrance provided to her mostly by gentlemanMannerism's Sburb Etiquette FAQ, only the Maid and the Sylph can actually talk to their personal denizens without getting killed because Lady Gaga has a bad habit of breaking game rules from moonlighting as the denizen for overly glitched out people and studying corruption, glitches, and advanced game theory in her spare time, and other people's denizens have a special rule that allows them to declare non-death-choice-based audiences with entities other than their player pre-knelling and if the Commission Factoid is to be believed before even the land exits the skaian basement under the magicant or whatever. The denizens besides Lady Gaga and Hequet will likely go home at some point (probably once their denizen palace stops being on fire courtesy of the First Guardian and likely player intervention) but as for now it's an overpowered sneople party in there.
Lady Gaga namedrops some references to her secret research on corruption and the Minerva/Athena Post-Denizen Humanoid Gift Mode, implying that she might be able to fix Mr. Unpronounceable and cause denizens to stick around harmlessly after slaying with the power of haaaax.
The fires and land verdancy seem to have reached a relative balance that basically means they can burn forever until the session decays, with the exception of the Battlefield that if it takes enough of the Reckoning it won't be able to sustain the Genesis Frog for a while while it regenerates.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Jul 7, 2015 4:04:21 GMT -5
Try to damage lands so much they can't burn anymore.
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Post by horrorTerror on Jul 7, 2015 10:46:04 GMT -5
The Smith in a testing frenzy of creating controlled explosions to figure out how to do that that he alchemizes Implosive PGO Cake && DA BOMB (nuke || jpeg artifacts for those who were wondering what that usually makes if it's not covered by another recipe, it was the Sylph of Rain's fault there were either of those around anyways) to create...
The Anti-Land Equation, which is a perfectly generic object with spikes and lasers which explodes with the force of a planetcracker. Now, if only-
The First Guardian promptly steals this, makes more, and blows up all the lands besides the Space land down to bedrock with Anti-Land Equations and the general debug NPC super-laser that they have and is utterly terrifying when combined with [RED MILES], because he ran out of fire extinguishers and is too lazy to alchemize more in the Veil.
This has the awkward side effect of killing almost all the consorts (except for a few that had been relocated to LOFARAF and the dream moons, plus the Pirate Consorts since they're damn near unkillable and the Secret Consorts since their cult items are as indestructible as your godtier outfit) and sending the broke denizens into rage mode from their unanticipated injury and pissing off most of the legit ones besides Hequet and Lady Gaga since Hequet was unaffected by this and Lady Gaga was like "lol I put all my stuff elsewhere for this exact reason hahahaha noob denizens". Also, everyone's houses but the Maid's are now obliterated and will need to be rebuilt, preferably with replacement alchemiters from the Veil or the Magicant. The denizens besides LG and Hequet quit the sneople party to oversee the rebuilding of their denizen palaces.
On the other hand, most of the fire has been resolved temporarily. When the lands finally finish self-repairing enough to spawn monsters again that will resume being a problem, but will take days at least, if not weeks or months for nonvital verdancy. Replacement quest NPCs might take a while to (re)spawn though...
Good thing quest beds are indestructible!
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Jul 8, 2015 6:48:16 GMT -5
((I was thinking more of having denizen damage, but, that works too.))
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Post by horrorTerror on Jul 8, 2015 22:40:39 GMT -5
The session is arguably no longer in danger of serious self-incineration for a while, but that still leaves the battlefield and what do while the lands are regenning and how to pacify all the agitated denizens.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Jul 9, 2015 6:36:50 GMT -5
Ride the denizens into combat! The final boss is clearly now the First Guardian, we need all the help we can get!
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Post by horrorTerror on Jul 9, 2015 9:38:01 GMT -5
The smith makes two SNEOPLE SADDLES (really just a pair of really big regular saddles) since all the other denizens are too angry to help right now.
We have no idea where the first guardian is and when he's not teleport-trolling people with empty fire extinguishers is probably hiding in his secret debug NPC fortress of we have no idea where it is.
Lady Gaga the Denizen is clearly no longer an active enemy, consents to getting 360noscoped by the Sylph's jpeg-master-spark-thingy, then after releasing the hoard in some awesome music video she respawns Athena/Minerva style to finish off the session. Two denizens' hoards gone (space and rain), six to go.
You decide denizen damage is a safer way to go and they denizen damage....The ability for the underlings of their lands to willfully spawn with combined prototypings that would result in immediate self-destruction or mass planetary damage. This means that they are less of a fire threat on the Land of Forests and Rain and Frogs and the Land of Coal and Wood, which means two of the four lands that are not supposed to be constantly on fire should not constantly be on fire, and the rain of the former puts out the remaining fires while the latter is still regenerating but now shouldn't immediately burn right back down. Well, that was convenient.
However, all the other denizens are incredibly annoyed right now and everyone will probably have to figure out sarabandes and knelling while everything is on fire only to meet a really angry snake person who will probably sentence them to a ton of denizen quests made of pumpkins and things that are on fire but shouldn't be.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Jul 9, 2015 10:43:37 GMT -5
...Man, I don't know what to do next. At all.
Hey, let's go troll the angels!
(and by denizen damage, I meant that the denizens actually go out and thrash around and wreck the place all by themselves.)
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Post by horrorTerror on Jul 9, 2015 12:43:35 GMT -5
Through prolific use of Sad Violin remixes and memories of ZA WARUDO and memories of first denizens, the Clockwork Contrivances are illegally opened (since they regen like first because they're like right above the bedrock layer and the structures are there before you're allowed to access them) and angels are trolled.
Unfortunately, trolling and sequence breaking are both against angelic law. Now all the angels are pissed off for a while. The Prince of Law was 2slow and got really really corrupted and is now promptly sentencing people to be corrupted by angels by conflict with his aspect because it views that as a bad outcome and he doesn't and it somehow works out because Princes. The Rhyme player was also slow but managed to lag corruption itself and got rather aggressively hugged by the pirate consort and a swarm of coplayers so that's fixed, but prince is kind of problem.
The denizens are kind of rampaging around anyways so they'll be wrecking to create some nice safe underling-free areas soon as part of dumb quests, that's what denizens just do regardless of player intervention until they're like nah-ur-good and let you smite them.
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Post by Nefer Nightbug on Jul 9, 2015 13:55:27 GMT -5
(Oops.)
I really have no idea now. Run to conclusion.
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Post by horrorTerror on Jul 9, 2015 15:44:43 GMT -5
The Bard of Rhyme destroys the Prince's nasty case of angelic corruption with rhyme by briefly afflicting him with Land of Rust and Machinery tier lag and then aggressively hugging the stuff out of him.
The denizens wise up and prevent the impsplosions, and with much alchemy of fire extinguishers the session is now winnable.
Total success flagged. Prepping new round...
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